


Simple Twist of Fate

by reidsanatomy



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Gen, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, non con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-10 01:57:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 22,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10426635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reidsanatomy/pseuds/reidsanatomy
Summary: When Reid comes into work on Tuesday, Morgan can tell something is off. When Morgan and the team find out there is someone after their youngest agent, they will do everything to protect him and stop at nothing to catch his attacker- but at what risk? Warnings: Rape/non-con





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!  
> This is my very first fanfic and I hope you enjoy it!  
> Please be aware, this fic will contain rape, although not too graphic.  
> If you are triggered by non-consensual elements, please don't read this story.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal minds or any of its characters.

He laid still for the longest time. No tears, no words, no movement. Just silence. But there was so much blood. And he needed to be clean. Needed to scrub it all away. Needed to go back in time, so that he could've stopped this from happening.  
…………………………………………………………………………………

At the office:

Derek Morgan walked into the office at 8:24, and snuck off to his desk to avoid a reprimand from Hotch.  
Emily turned around and saw him. “Wow Morgan. 24 minutes late. I think that's the earliest you've gotten here all year!” She laughed.  
“Yeah, keep talking Emily. You wish you could have a night like I did.”  
“Oh ew. I do not want to hear about your sex life Derek Morgan.”  
Just then, JJ walked in. “Have any of you guys seen Spence?” she said, worry etched onto her face. “It’s not like him to be late, and he hasn't answered my calls.”  
“I'll call him. I'm sure Reid just slept in or something,” said Morgan, who was also beginning to worry about his friend.  
Just as he was typing in the numbers however, Reid rushed into the office and sat down at his desk.  
Morgan looked up from his phone. “Wow. I cannot believe my eyes. Did Dr. Spencer Reid just come in late to work?” He said it teasingly, but Reid just looked down and started to take some files out of his satchel. “Reid? You okay man?” Upon getting a closer look, Morgan noticed Reid’s eyes were bloodshot, and his hair was unruly and messy.  
“Yeah. I’m fine,” Reid said dismissively, not looking up from his desk.  
JJ, Morgan, and Prentiss looked at each other with concern, but decided to let it go for now.  
At lunchtime, Morgan decided to confront the genius.  
“Hey Reid, how’s it going? Wanna go get some lunch with me?”  
“No thanks Morgan, I’m not really that hungry.”  
Morgan took a good look at Reid and saw that he was pale and sweating. He looked like he might throw up. “Reid, you don't look so good. Are you sure you're okay?” Morgan put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him, but Reid flinched and shrugged his hand away.  
Reid stood up, swaying as he did so “I-I’m fine M-Morgan, I j-just…” and Reid suddenly collapsed to the ground, Morgan catching him just before he hit the cold, hard floor.  
“HOTCH!” Morgan yelled, and Hotch came running out of his office. “You need to call an ambulance, right now.”  
Hotch’s normally composed face showed worry and concern for his youngest agent, and he immediately pulled out his phone to call 911.  
Prentiss looked on in shock, and JJ looked like she was about to cry. After hearing all the commotion, Rossi came out of his office, his face calm, but concerned. “What happened?” He asked.  
“I don’t know. He was quiet the whole day and he came in late and all jumpy. I asked him to go to lunch with me and he said no. But then he got up and, and he sort of swayed and then he just collapsed. I don't know what's wrong!” Morgan said frantically, not leaving Reid, his brother’s, side.  
“An ambulance is on the way Morgan. You need to stay calm. Panicking won't help Reid. How's his pulse?” said Hotch, already taking control of the situation.  
Morgan pressed to fingers to the side of Reid’s neck. He looked up, his eyes wide. “There's no pulse.”  
…………………………………………………………………………………

AN: So I know this is a really short chapter, but I promise the next ones will be longer. I'm not certain yet about where I'm going with this story, so please let me know what you think.  
Thanks for reading:)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!  
> For those of you that were wondering, this will NOT be slash.  
> Thanks for reviewing and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Derek Morgan had never felt so useless. The medics had come in surrounded him they kept yelling things he couldn't understand. Everything with fuzzy and muted, like the room was surrounded in a thick fog. He backed himself against the wall and slid down until he was on his knees. ‘Please Reid,’ he thought, ‘Please pretty boy don't give up. This team needs you , I need you.’ But the only response he received was the continuos monotone beep from the machines they had hooked up to him. Tears were streaming down his face, and he could hear JJ sobbing, Prentiss holding her back. And Garcia. She has walked into the bullpen right as they had come in, and she just stood there. The tears were running down her face, yet he couldn't bring himself to go over to her. He was useless.

And then a sharp inhale, and a sudden cough.  
Suddenly the world felt clear again, and Morgan could breathe.  
…………………………………………………………………………………

Hotch paced across the room, wondering what had happened to his youngest agent. He was never scared, yet for the first time Hotch felt great panic even just thinking about his subordinate. His team was in disarray and he felt like they had been there for hours. JJ and Garcia were sitting in those hard plastic chairs they have in hospital waiting rooms, comforting each other. Prentiss and Rossi were standing alone, their faces cool and collected, yet he could see the turmoil beneath them. And Morgan was pacing through the hospital, yelling at each nurse and doctor and demanding information.  
“Morgan,” he began.  
“What?” Morgan turned around, malice in his voice, but his face showed the deep sadness and regret he felt.  
“You need to calm down. Acting like this won't help Reid. I need you to stay compose, for Reid, and for the team. Garcia is a mess, and she needs you. So get your act together and start doing what needs to be done.”  
Morgans shoulders immediately slumped down, features no longer tense. He followed Hotch back to the room, and made a beeline towards Garcia.  
She looked up. “Hey baby girl,” he said, with a sad smile on his face, and sat down next to her pulling her into his arms.

1 hour later

A doctor walked into the room and everyone's heads immediately snapped up, Morgan standing up.   
“Hello, my name is Doctor Millstone and I was the lead on Doctor Reid's case. I understand that you guys are with the FBI and just want me to cut to the chase, so I'll skip the pleasantries. Dr. Reid came in with severe blood loss after having passed out. He was also severely dehydrated and malnourished. We immediately gave him blood and plenty of fluids. He also had several cuts and bruises all over his body, and we examined him further, we found something else.” She paused, before starting again. “I'm sorry to tell you that we found evidence of sexual assault. There was brushing on his thighs and so we ran a rape kit. There was semen present, and we believe that there are at least two sets of DNA. Again, I’m sorry to have to tell you this.”

It was like the room was spinning, and the team couldn't comprehend the information that they had just learned. JJ had let out a sob, and Prentiss had gasped. Garcia’s mouth was wide open, but no sound would come out and Rossi looked shocked, as did Hotch. Morgan’s reaction was unsurprising, as he pushed past the doctor and slammed the wall with his palm.  
“Morgan.” Hotch said, a hint of caution in his voice.  
Morgan turned around with tears in his eyes. “ H-he was r-… how- w-why wouldn't he say anything?”  
Hotch just looked at him with sadness , and Morgan slumped back into his seat.   
“If you come with I can take you to his room.” The team followed the Doctor to room 142, nervously awaiting to see Reid.  
The Doctor stepped aside and Hotch pushed the door open. Inside, a very pale looking Reid was sleeping in the bed. Morgan took a step back, but the pushed away his nerves and went straight to the chair next to Reid's bed. He sat down without a word and took his best friend’s hand.  
“I’m gonna find who did this to you Reid. I swear to God I'll make them pay. I promise you. You just have to promise me that you won't go through this alone. We're here for you kid.” Even though Reid was asleep, Morgan knew that he had heard him, somehow. And he would protect him no matter what.  
“Alright, I want some of us to go back to the hotel, you all look like you could use a rest,” Hotch began before the team started to protest. “ Enough. This is not a suggestion. We’ll come in pairs. Morgan and Garcia first, JJ and I next, and then Rossi and Prentiss.”  
“I’m not leaving Spence,” said JJ, “He needs us.”   
“You can't help him if you are tired and can't function properly. Garcia and Morgan stay the night, then I want everyone back at the BAU tomorrow morning at 7:00 so we can catch this son of a bitch.” When the JJ looked like she was about to protest, Hotch started again. “JJ, if you really want to, you can stay with Reid while we're working on the case. We can take shifts. The rest of you need to be at the office no later than 7:00. That's an order.”   
The team nodded, and everyone but Garcia, who sat on the other side of Reid, and Morgan filed out of the room.  
Garcia looked up at Morgan, and could see the pain in his eyes. “He's gonna be okay you know? He's strong. And he's got us. We'll always be her for him.”  
“I know baby girl. I know.”

…………………………………………………………………………………  
A/N: Hope you guys liked the new chapter! This was a really quick update and I'm really surprised that I wrote this so quick.  
Reviews are greatly appreciated, and if you have any questions please ask!  
Thanks again!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!  
> I know it may seem like I'm updating really fast, but I actually already had this story on fanfiction.net and after I posted it here too.  
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!

He could hear a steady beep. Low voices taking softly to one another. The feel of sheets and a soft mattress underneath him. A hand clutched tightly around his own, and another hand gently stroking his other hand, whispering reassurances. HIS throat felt dry, so dry. Water. He needed water. His eyes began to open, met with a piercing white light. He quickly shut them closed, tightening his hand.

Morgan felt a squeeze. His breath hitched, and looked at Reid. His eyes were screwed tightly closed. “Reid? Reid.” He was met with harsh gasping. “ Reid it's ok. You're safe now. You're in a hospital. You can open your eyes now, I promise.”   
Reid slowly began to open his eyes, letting out a harsh gasp at the bright white light. “Lights,” he rasped, “Hurts.” He heard the sound of blinds being closed, and let out a sigh of relief at the warm, dimmed light that flooded the room.  
“That's it Reid, open your eyes for us.”   
“Water,” he said as Morgan reached for a cup by his bedside.  
Reid took the cup in his hands and quickly gulped it down, and began to cough.  
“Hey there kid, slow down,” worry lining his face. “You need to take it easy.”  
Reid looked at Morgan's concerned face and then turned to look at Garcia.  
“Hey,” she said softly with a shy smile. “You okay?”  
“I’m fine.” He said curtly. “Where's the rest of the team?”  
“Working on finding the bastards who hurt you. JJ will be her soon.”   
Reid closed his eyes. Without opening them he spoke. “Does everyone know?” He almost didn’t want to ask, afraid of the answer they might give him.  
“Oh honey,” Garcia said kindly, “No one thinks any less of you. This was not your fault.”  
Reid pressed his lips together. “I think I'm gonna go back to sleep now. I'm tired.”  
“That's ok kid. We’ll be right here when you wake up. We're not leaving you.” But Reid had already turned away and curled up on his side, his eyes closed. A single tear trailed down Garcia’s face, and Morgan sat down on those hard, plastic hospital chairs that he hated and put his head in his hands.

…………………………………………………………………………………

At the office:

“Ok so, we know that there was at least two people involved, according to Reid’s Doctor. The attack was on Monday night in Reid's apartment- Rossi is checking it out now. The question is was this attack planned or was Reid a victim of opportunity. Because if this was planned- chances are, it has to do with one of our cases. And that means Reid is still in danger and we could be too.” Prentiss looked to Hotch on his thoughts, worried about what this could mean.  
“That's why I want Morgan to try and talk to Reid. See if they knew him, or if he recognized them at all. It’ll be hard to get him to talk, but if anyone can get him to talk it's Morgan and Garcia. If they can't, then JJ, you'll talk to him. If even JJ can't get to him, I don't know what we'll do. We can't rely on solely Reid for evidence. We're going to need more than that to solve this case. And if this attack was planned, we need to be on high alert and protect Reid at all costs. Because they will not hurt Reid again on my watch. We’ll make sure of it.” Just then Hotch’s phone rang, and he pulled it out of his pocket, glancing at the caller.  
“Hello this is SSA Aaron Hotchner of the BAU.” “Yes Doctor Millstone of course I remember.” He paused. “You did.” He inhaled sharply. “Yes of course,” he replied, “Thank you for calling,” and hung up the phone.  
Hotch sat down slowly, his face slightly paler. “That was Doctor Millstone from the hospital.” His voice was shaky and he paused to control himself. “They have the results of the rape kit.” He steeled himself before speaking again. “There were were three sets of DNA. They're running it through the system right now.”   
JJ let out a gasp and stepped back, while Prentiss just stared at him, her mouth wide open.  
“We're going to get these guys. We're not going to let them hurt Reid again.” She gasped harshly for air taking jerky breaths, and Emily was at her side in an instant, guiding her in a chair, grasping her hand. “H-how is he- I c-can't- How c-can someone do this t o S-Spence? He-he’s so innocent, the most of all of us, how could someone do this to him?” she said, tears running down her face. She angrily wiped at her tears. “They won't get away with this. We won't let them.”  
Just then Hotch’s phone ran again and he picked it up, fearing more bad news. He looked at the caller ID and sighed. “Hotchner.”  
“Hotch it's Rossi. I'm at Reid's apartment.”  
“Did you find anything?”  
“Yeah. It's bad. You need to get over here.”  
“Alright. I'm on my way.” He hung up the phone with another sigh.  
“JJ, go to the hospital, see Reid. Tell Morgan about what we found. Don’t tell Garcia. Prentiss you're coming with me to Reid's apartment. Let's go.”   
JJ didn't even argue and was already out the door. After what she had just heard, she really needed to see him. She wiped her tears, grabbed her bag and walked out, down the stairs and out of the office. Prentiss followed Hotch out without hesitation, scared of what they might find at Reid’s apartment, but pushing it out of the way. She didn't have time to be scared, didn't have time to worry and cry. This was about Reid, not her, and she wasn’t going to let him down.  
…………………………………………………………………………………

JJ’s heels clicked as she all but ran to Spencer’s room. She wasn't ready to see him just now, but she knew if she couldn't do it now, she might never be able to. She took a second to compose herself before pushing in the door to Reid’s room. She gulped when she saw him. She looked at Garcia’s puffy eyes that looked to her when she walked in.   
“Hey,” she said smiling softly at Garcia. Garcia returned a watery smile.  
“Any news?” Asked Morgan, his eyes tired and sad.  
“Actually…” she paused. “I need to talk to you.”  
“Ok. Shoot.”  
“I mean outside.”  
Morgan nodded his understanding and gave Garcia's hand a squeeze as he got up and followed JJ out the room.  
“What is this about JJ.”  
“Spence’s Doctor called Hotch while we were at the office. The results of the rape kit came back… T-They said,” her breathing hitched. “They said t-that there were 3 sets of DNA.”   
Morgan inhaled sharply and JJ flinched when he slammed his fist against the wall.  
JJ didn't know what to do so she kept talking. “S-she said that they w-were running the DNA through the system. I-I don't know if they'll find anything all I know is that Hotch said not to tell Garcia and he doesn't know if Reid will talk at all but we need him to talk because I don't know if we can do this I don't know how h- he's gonna get past this but w-we”  
“JJ stop.”   
She continued to ramble, tears streaming down both their faces, and he pulled her into his arms. “Oh God. Three.” He shook his head and then mentally scolded himself. “JJ we need to stay strong. For Reid ok? You just gotta keep going. ‘Cause Reid needs you and he doesn't need to see you like this, so you just gotta stay strong. You hear me?”  
“Ok. Ok. Just stay strong. For Spence. Stay strong for Spence.” And JJ pulled herself away from Morgan, and wiped her tears for what seemed like the millionth time in the past two days.   
…………………………………………………………………………………

Reid’s apartment

Hotch and Prentiss stood before Reid’s door, gloves on, mentally preparing themselves for what lay beyond that door.   
“You ready?” Hotch looked at Prentiss, her face cool and composed, a mirror of his.  
“Let’s go.” And she pushed the door open.  
Rossi turned around and she immediately noticed the blood on his gloves. Reid’s blood, she thought. He beckoned for them to follow and began to walk to the bedroom. Rossi stepped aside to reveal the room.  
“Oh my God.”  
…………………………………………………………………………………

Alright, so I decided I want to stay consistent with my update times, so I'm going to be updating weekly- probably a chapter every Sunday. I know it hasn't been seven days yet but I really didn't want to keep you guys waiting. Of course I'm not perfect so I might be late a couple days, but I will try my best to not keep you guys waiting.   
Thank you for reading, and again, your reviews are greatly appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again guys!  
> I know I already failed my promise lol but I was soooo busy and really could not update. Sorry for any of you who were looking forward to the next chapter, BUT it's here now!  
> Just to let you know, Reid's recovery is not going to be easy. He's not gonna get over it super quick and be fine- I think that's simplifying and making sexual assault ok, which I don't agree with.   
> Thanks for all your reviews, favs, and follows!

……………………..……………………………………………………….

Morgan walked into Reid's room with a cup of coffee and smiled when opened the door. Garcia was asleep , her head on Reid’s shoulder. He shook her awake.   
“Hey,” he said. “You need to go home baby girl. Go get some rest.”  
“No it's fine I need to stay, I need to stay here for Reid he needs- I need to stay here.”  
“Sugar you can come back later. You need to sleep, it's nearly 2:00 in the morning. Prentiss and Rossi will be here in the morning.”  
“Ugh fine. But tell me if he wakes up ok?”  
“I won't let you down sweetness. Now c’mon, go get some rest.”  
She blew him a kiss and walked out of Reid's room. Morgan settled down next to Reid's hand and took a sip of his coffee. He wasn't planning on getting any sleep in a long time

Reid’s apartment 

“Oh my God.” Prentiss took a step back, trying to take in what she was seeing without throwing up. The room was a mess. A lamp was thrown on the floor and drawers were pulled open. Bloody clothes were tossed on the ground and there was some blood on the walls and floor. It all pales in comparison to the bed. The sheets were rumpled and messy. And there was blood so much blood, mixed in with- with other substances that Prentiss wouldn't- couldn't think about. And all she could think was that Reid had gone through this, that he was hurt here, and that he was raped here.   
She could tell even Hotch was having trouble looking at it. It was painful, painful to know what Reid went through, to be in the place where he was put through hell.  
“I don't want to look at this any longer than I have to do let's make this quick. Did you find anything?”  
“Well I don't think you need to be a genius that something happened here. But that's not why I called you two down here.” Rossi held up a small plastic evidence bag with a single car key. “ I found this on the ground in the corner of the room. I checked. It's not Reid’s.”   
“Get it to the lab right now. Tell them to rush it, make it their number one priority. Is that all.”  
“That's it. Now let's get the hell out of here.”

At the hospital

He had forced JJ to go home. She was resilient, but he told her to come back with Prentiss and Rossi and she reluctantly agreed. He was now alone with just Reid and his coffee. He settled back into his chair, overcome with a mixture of stress, worry, and guilt. And on top of that, anger. He felt so much rage at the people who had hurt his little brother. The second he got his hands on them, they will wish they had never even come close to Reid.  
He let go of his anger for now though, because he could see Reid's eyes twitching and his hand grasping the sheet.   
Spencer opened his eyes.   
“Well look who finally woke up,” Morgan said jokingly. He smiled when he saw the corners of Reid's mouth quirk up.  
Reid coughed. “How long was I asleep for?”  
“Well, except for those five minutes you were awake earlier, you've been asleep for a good 24 hours. How're you feeling, kid?”  
“Fine.” Reid refused to make contact with Morgan's eyes.  
“Reid. C’mon now. Don't do this. Don't shut us out. Don't shut me me out. I know how you're feeling right now kid and I know you just want to forget it ever happened and not talk about. But trust me Reid when I say this, that is not the way you need to go about this. Bottling it up, that only works for so long. You can talk to me- you can always talk to me.”  
“Don't act like it's the same. You were a kid. I'm 27. It's not the same.”  
“It doesn't make it your fault. It doesn’t mean you could have stopped it.”  
“Doesn't it?”  
Morgan sighed. “Kid. You can't blame yourself for this. It is not your fault. There is nothing that you could have done. The blame lies on the people that hurt you. Do you hear me.”  
Reid didn't respond.  
“Reid, I need you to understand that. And I need you to talk to me if we're gonna catch these bastards.”  
“I don't know if I can.”  
“What if they're after the team, huh? What if you're not the only target? What would you do then? If they hurt Penelope, or JJ, or Hotch, or Emily or Rossi, or me? What about Henry and Jack? And your mom? I know you don't wanna hear this kid, but you're being selfish. You need to stop wallowing in your self pity and help me, help you.”  
Reid took a long pause. “I think you should go.”  
Morgan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Ah Reid. This is gonna hit you. It's gonna hot you hard. But when it does, you only need to know one thing.” He paused. Reid stared at him. “I'll always be here for you.”  
…………………………………………………………………………………  
Awww- cute Morgan and Reid scene.  
I promise next chapter will have more Reid and rest of the team scenes- also there will probably be flashbacks of the assault next chapter so this is just a pre-warning!  
Thanks again for your reviews!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey again! I was feeling a little guilty about already failing in my updating promises SOOO I decided to give you guys a little present and update a little earlier- so here you go! Hope you like this chapter.
> 
> Thanks for all your kind reviews! Please continue to let me know what you think! It is greatly appreciated!
> 
> Warnings: There will be some explicit details involving rape/sexual assault in this chapter

He was walking from the subway to his apartment. Morgan had offered to give him a ride like he always does, but he had declined like he always does. He regrets this now of all times it has started to rain. He hurried to his apartment and tries to open the door, fumbling with the door knob. He shivers in his sopping wet clothes and finally gets through the door into his apartment. He dodges a pile of books and swings his satchel onto a chair. He unholsters his gun and places it on a table. He is heading to the bathroom when he is hit with something in the head, hard. His last thought before he passes out is ‘I should have gotten a ride with Morgan.’  
When he wakes up he is strapped to his bed with rope. He struggles and panics when he realizes he has no clothes. He hears a voice but his head is still spinning from the blow it received. When the person speaks again, he hears it clearly.   
“It's time to pay Spencer.”   
He stares at the man. “Who are you?” he asks. “What do you want from me?”  
The man doesn't respond.”  
He licks his lips, growing more and more fearful. “L-look we can work this out,” he says, hating how his voice cracks. You don't have to do this. I'm an FBI agent, if you let me go now your sentence will be lessened I promise.”  
But the man just smiles and then two other men walk into the room. Spencer begins to struggle when one of them starts to take their clothes off.  
“N-no please don’t- I-I we can figure something out you don’t have to do this.”  
The man climbs onto him and smiles and whispers in his ear. “You deserve this. And I'm going to enjoy every second of it,” and thrusts hard into him.  
Spencer screams.

 

“SPENCER WAKE UP!”  
He awakens with a gasp, covered in a fine sheen of sweat and breathing hard. He sees Rossi and Prentiss’ concerned faces looming down on him. He closes his eyes and takes deep breaths, trying to control himself. His hands slowly start to loosen there grip on the sheets and he relaxes his tense muscles.  
A voice breaks through his thoughts.  
“Reid are you okay?”   
Prentiss is worried, he can tell- she's not even trying to hide it.   
“Yeah. Yeah I'm fine. I just need a second.”  
“Take all the time you need kid. We're not going anywhere.”  
Spencer just nods his head obliviously and settles back down onto his bed. That's when he sees all the balloons and stuffed animals on the table in the corner. Prentiss smiled at the look on his face.   
“Garcia dropped by, if you couldn't tell.”  
“Yeah I figured.”  
“She told me to tell you she's sending all her love to you.”  
Reid cringes. “ I don’t think anyone could handle that amount of love.”  
Prentiss laughed. “Yeah, its better in small pieces, one at a time.” She smiled again when she saw Reid's mouth curve up a little bit.  
“Listen, Reid.” She paused. “I know what you're gonna say but just hear me out. We need to catch these men, before they hurt someone else or you again. We've got dead ends. We have no other leads to follow. Except you. I know you don't want to talk, but truth is we need you to, if you want us to catch them. And it doesn't have to be me or Rossi, it could be anyone. Just promise me you'll talk.”  
Reid stayed silent for a long time before finally speaking up. When he finally did speak, his voice was scratchy and raw, full of silent emotion. “I promise.”

 

At the BAU  
Morgan walked into the bullpen and could already see Hotch in his office, most likely working on the case. He knocked on the door and stepped into the office.   
“Morgan. You're not with Reid?”  
“No. He's with Rossi and Prentiss.”  
“Why not?”  
Morgan paused, frowning. “He asked me to leave. He's…upset. He didn't want to talk to me.”  
“Morgan we need him to talk to you. I'm not okay with these bastards staying out there and possibly hurting Reid again.”  
“Well neither do I Hotch. Don't you think I want to catch these guys? Don't you want to think I want them to pay for what they did to Reid?” He paused, taking a breath to collect his feelings. “Reid will talk to me. He's hurting right now, so he's pushing me away. But I aware to you Hotch, I won't push him away. I'll stay with him. I'll help him. And he'll talk to me when it gets to be too much and he finally accepts help.”  
Hotch nodded. “Ok. That's all I needed to hear. Now take a seat. I'm reviewing our old cases to see if any have a connection with this case.” Hotch beckoned to the seat across from his desk and the large stack of case files sitting on his desk. Morgan sat down, grabbed a file and got to work

 

JJ walked out of her house just after six o’clock. Will had finally come home to take care of Henry. She had wanted to visit Spence in the morning with Rossi and Prentiss, but her son had gotten sick and Will couldn't get off work, so she stayed at home with her son all day. Now that she had gotten him to take a nap and Will was home she could get to the hospital.  
She pulled her coat around closer and shivered. It was already dark and very cold. She opened the car door and drove in silence until she saw the bright lights of the Winchester Memorial Hospital. She stepped out of the car and set a brisk pace to the doors of the building.  
“Agent Jareau!” A single voice called out. She turned around.  
A single gunshot pierced through the cold, silent night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhh! JJ! I know I suck cause now you guys have to wait to figure out what happens:) Next chapter will be up next week! Sorry!:-}


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, new chapter! Sorry for the wait, I have had almost zero time to write. Hope you enjoy, and don't forget to review!

Hospital parking 

JJ lay on the cold, wet pavement, her head pressed to the ground. She took in a strangled breath and looked down at her hands clutching her stomach. Warm, red blood seeped through her fingers, a startling contrast to her white shirt and the bitter, cold night. She removed one hand and struggled to grasp her phone out of her purse lying next to her on the ground. Her bag was too far away and her fingers couldn't stretch far enough.  
She cursed, knowing she would have to try to move. She steeled herself and then slowly dragged herself an inch in the direction of her bag. She cried out at the pain, but when she reached out again her fingertips could just barely grasp the handle on her bag. She pulled it closer and reached into the side pocket for her phone, cursing again when it slipped out of her hands. Finally, she grabbed it and dialed one number, waiting as it rung.  
“Hello?”  
JJ tried to open her mouth to say something but a strangled gasp was all she could do.  
“JJ? Is that you? Are you okay?”  
JJ was finally able to form a word. “Emily.” She paused to take a ragged breath. “I’m… outside. The hospital. I… a man… he shot me. I need…help. Please.”  
“Ok… ok I'm coming hold on JJ I'm getting help.”  
JJ sighed in relief and let her head drop back down to the pavement. Her eyelids fluttered but she forced herself to stay awake. She could hear shouts and footsteps nearing.   
“JJ!” Prentiss yelled. As she neared she bent down to JJ’s level. “Hey JJ, you need to stay awake ok? You need to keep your eyes open can you do that for me?”  
JJ tried, she really did, but the corners of her vision were starting to blur and darken. The darkness felt warm and soft, much nicer than the cold, hard concrete of the parking lot. She mentally apologized to Emily and let herself give into to the darkness and her eyes fluttered closed.  
……………………………….……………………………….………………  
Hotch’s office

Morgan had just begun to read the first file when Hotch’s phone rang. He looked up as Hotch answered.  
“Hotch.”  
He couldn't hear what was being said on the other line but he could see Hotch’s brows furrow with concern.  
“How did this happen?” He paused. “Have you heard anything yet?” “Are you sure? A note?” “Ok. I’m with Morgan. We're on our way.”  
Morgan looked at him, his face questioning.  
“That was Prentiss,” said Hotch. “We need to get to the hospital, JJ’s been shot.”  
……………………………….……………………………….………………

When Reid woke up, he was surprised to see just Rossi in the room.   
“Where did Emily go?”  
Rossi cleared his throat. “She...” Rossi struggled on how to tell Reid the news. “Something happened.”  
“What happened? Is she okay?”  
“Yeah, she’s fine buut…” He couldn't bring himself to say it.  
“Rossi what happened? Just tell me!”   
“JJ was shot. She’s in surgery as we speak.”  
Reid opened his mouth but no word came out. He tried again. “Wh-what? How.. i-is she going to be okay?”  
“I don't know. All I know is that she’s in surgery and that Prentiss is going to call as soon as she hears anything at all. And… there was a note.”  
“What did it say? Was- was it the same people who…” he trailed off.  
“We think so. The note said one word. Revenge.”  
Just then the door opened and Morgan walked in. “Hotch is downstairs with Prentiss. Still no word on JJ.”  
“Alright,” said Rossi. “I think I'll go… get some coffee and see how Prentiss and Hotch are doing.”  
“Alright. Call me as soon as you hear anything.”  
“You got it,” said Rossi. He walked out of the room, the door closing with a gentle click.  
“Hey. I- I just wanted to um, you know. I’m sorry. For pressing you. About, uh, talking. I should t have pressured you like that. I- you can take as much time as you need. And you don't have to take to me. So um, Ii’m sorry.”  
“It's not your fault.” Morgan looked up, confused. “It’s mine. I should have talked to you sooner, I should have, but I didn't and now JJ’s been shot and we could have found them sooner if I had just talked. But I didn't because I didnt want you guys to look at me like a victim, or treat me like I'm fragile and broken and weak. And now they shot JJ and I don't know if she'll be okay, I don't know if she'll live, and it's all my fault. All just because I didn't want to be pitied, all because I know that when you look at me, you're right. I am weak, and before you say it's not true, it is. I wasn't strong enough to stop it from happening, and, I wasn't strong enough to face you because I knew. I knew that I’d have to go back to that night, and I knew I wouldn't be strong enough to do that.” He wiped angrily at a stray tear on his face.  
“Reid. That’s not true. You are strong. You saved yourself from Tobias, you survived anthrax, countless explosions and gunshots, hell, you took a bullet in the neck for someone. That's not weakness, that's strength. This was not your fault. The people that did this to you, that shot JJ, that's their fault. It’s on them, not you. Cause in the end, they're the ones who fired that gun, and they're the ones… they're the ones who hurt my best friend. There was nothing you could have done. Three versus one is not an even playing field kid, and no matter what, you could not have beat three men, I sure as hell couldn’t and not a damn person could either.”  
After a long pause, Morgan spoke again. “I know it's hard kid, I know it hurts to remember but believe me when I say this- you are strong enough. You have proven it time after time- and no matter what happens, I will never look at you like you are weak or broken. Cause you're not.”  
“Now. Do you want to talk to me, or somebody else, cause I can get somebody else. But it has to be now Reid. There is no more waiting.”  
“No. You.” Reid pushed himself up into a sitting position as Morgan nodded and brought his chair next to Reid's bed.  
“Ok then. Whenever you're ready kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What'd you guys think? Please let me know and REVIEW!! Thank you so much to all of you who have read and reviewed, it really motivates me to continue. If you guys have any questions or if you have any suggestions, please let me know. Thanks again!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I’m back! I know it's been a little bit since I updated but I'm glad you guys stuck with this story. I’m really sorry for not updating and making you guys wait, but school was ending and I had finals and grades to deal with, and I had to focus on studying. But, I've taken my last final and I can relax and write now! Hopefully you guys enjoy this last chapter, and thanks to all of you who reviewed/favorited/followed this story through the wait- you guys are amazing.

“Ok then. Whenever you're ready.”  
“It has to be now.” Reid said it firmly, even though he was nervous and even though he didn't want to do this, he knew he had to.  
“Close your eyes kid. Take some deep breaths and relax. Now think back to that day. You had just left work. What was it like outside? Was it bright? What did it smell like?”  
Reid closed his eyes and breathed in. “It was dark. And I could tell it was going to rain soon. It smelled like cigarettes- there's a couple smoking on the curb.”  
“Ok- So you walk to the bus station. Then you walk home. Then what happened?”

_Flashback_

He walked up the stairs to the elevator, slightly damp. Just as he was entering the parking lot, it had started raining, so he had rushed inside. When he got to his door and he dropped his bag and phone on the ground and fished around his pocket for the keys. He unlocked the door and was greeted with darkness and silence. He walked into and was about to flick the light on when something smashed into his head.  
He stumbled forward and touched his head, his hand coming back sticky with blood. His hand then went to each for his gun, but found nothing. He cursed silently when he realized he had put in his satchel, which was on the table. He turned around, trying to squint through the darkness to find his attacker, but he couldn't see or hear anything. He slowly began his way to the table where his bag was trying to reach his gun, while trying not to make any noise and alert his attacker of where he was. He was about to grab his gun when the light turned on and he heard the distinct sound of a gun clicking next to his temple.  
“Don’t. Move.”  
He slowly put his hands in the air and turned around. “Ok. Ok. I’m not going to fight. Just tell me what you want and we can settle this.”  
The masked man laughed, and Reid stared at him, unaware of what seemed to be funny.   
His attacker smiled and said, “You're really gonna wish you didn't ask that question.”  
“Look, I'm and FBI agent. My name is Doctor Spencer Reid, I work for the BAU- You could get in serious trouble for this- If… If you just leave now-“  
He was cut off by the man. “ I already know who you are Spencer. I don't care.”  
That was the last thing he remembered before a baseball bat came winging at his head from behind.

He woke up tied to his bedposts with a gag in his mouth. His eyes scanned the room and he started to panic, struggling against the rope and the gag. The man from before, followed by two other men came into the room.  
He whispered something the two men who smiled and began to walk over to him.   
“These men are going to teach you something Spencer. They're going to teach you what happens when you make a mistake, and don't do anything to help fix the mess it leaves behind. I just want you to know, that what's going to happen next, is all your fault. You should've tried harder. You should have saved her. Instead, you tried to be the hero and you failed at that too. This is revenge Spencer.” He came up right next to Reid and whispered in his ear. “And you deserve to suffer.”  
The two men tore at his clothes and Reid pleaded with them, tried to reason with them. But he could do nothing they beat him when he spoke. So he stayed silent and stoic and bared the pain. Only when they thrust into him did he let his emotions deep through in his screams. He went into a place in the back of his mind, a place he had visited many times and tried to block out the pain and blood. But he could still feel it all and he lost track of all the times they abused him, all the times they used him. He felt disgusted, with them, and with himself for not trying hard, for not being strong like Morgan. But those thoughts were drowned out by the thrusts and the thrusts were drowned out by the pain, until he felt nothing- until he was empty.

_End of flashback_

Morgan was trying hard not to break down. He knew, he couldn't, because this was about Reid and not his own selfish feelings of guilt and that this was about Reid's pain, not his own. He failed

“I’m so sorry Reid. I’m so sorry I didn't help you.”  
“I-It’s not over.”  
Morgan looked at him questioningly.  
“After- after it was over, someone else came into the room. They untied me and gave me back my clothes. And then she whispered, ‘That was for Jamie.’”  
“W-wait Reid- did you say she? There was a woman there?”  
“Y-yeah- I didn't even realize- I didn't even remember that until now… And she wasn't wearing mask! I- I can describe her to a sketch artist!”  
“Yeah- and now we've got a name too. I need to go call Hotch.”  
He got up form his chair and paused. “You did good kid. I’m proud of you.”  
He started to walk out- “Wait Morgan!” He turned around.  
“ You… You couldn’t have helped me. Anymore than I… than I could have- stopped it. It's not your fault.”  
He gave Morgan a small smile.   
Morgan nodded and left.

As Morgan walked into the hallway he came across Prentiss.  
“Hey! The doctors are releasing JJ- they said she's recovering incredibly. How'd it go with Reid?”  
“We have a lot of new information. He was really helpful, but I’m leaving him to rest. It was… tough. But that's great that JJ’s already out. She can come with us and Rossi and Garcia to the office. I’m gonna call Hotch and then I can brief everyone at the round table.”  
“Oh wow, ok. I'll go get everyone and we'll meet you there.”  
Morgan nodded and proceeded to call Hotch.   
“Hey, Hotch, it’s Morgan.”  
“Yeah, I just finished talking to Reid and I just learned a lot more. I talked to Prentiss and she's going to get everyone to the office so I can brief everyone.”  
“Yeah alright. Bye.”

_At the office_

“So that's what Reid told me. I sent a sketch artist to his hospital room to get us a picture of this woman, and now we have a name and a some backstory to these unsubs. Which is a hell a lot more than we had before.”  
“What we had before being absolutely nothing.” Rossi smirked.  
Hotch stood up. “Alright. Garcia you get to work trying to sound out who Jamie is- cross check with our old cases, specifically ones that Reid was heavily involved in as well sat the information he gave us. The rest of us are looking through these case files looking for any mention of Jamie or anything that matches with what the unsubscribe told Reid. And Prentiss, take JJ home- and before you argue, I’m not hanging my decision, so don't waste your breath. You just got shot and you need to rest. You can come meet back here in the morning.”  
“Alright everybody get to work.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, and I apologize again for the wait. Please keep reviewing! Hope you enjoyed!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again guys! I updated on time, yay!  
> I recently read through the chapters I have posted and realized there are A LOT of mistakes so I'm trying to do better with this chapter and the next coming chapters. I'm not really sure how long this story is going to be sooo… I guess we'll see!  
> Also, just a warning, this chapter is not going to be pleasant sooo…yeah.

At the hospital

Reid sighed. Morgan had just left to go tell the team everything. He felt lighter, now that he had gotten everything off his chest, but he couldn't stop he twinge of shame when he thought of everyone knowing exactly what happened to him.   
His thoughts were interrupted though, as a nurse decided to walk in just then.  
He frowned. A nurse had just come by 10 minutes ago, and this was not one of his usual nurses.  
“Excuse me. What..what are you doing?”  
He turned around. “Oh I’m just giving you your medicine. Sorry, I’m new here. My name’s Mike.”  
“Oh but- a doctor already came in earlier and gave me my meds…”  
“Yeah, she just told me to give you this. She added another medicine.”  
Reid was starting to feel nervous. “What's her name?”  
“Sorry?”  
“My doctor. What's her name?  
Mike paused for a moment. Then he pulled out a knife. “Don't move okay? I was gonna make this easy for you but you forced me to do this.” He slowly backed up and locked the door, while Reid sat up in his bed with his hands up.  
“O-ok. I’m not gonna move. Nobody's forcing you to do anything. You can just walk out now, and this never happened.”  
“But I don't want to.” He paused and walked up next to Reid's bed. He smiled. “And you and I both know- that's not gonna happen.” He climbed onto the bed and Reid tried to move away, squirming when he felt a hard bulge underneath Mike’s pants press into his thigh.  
“You don't want to do this Mike.”  
“You're wrong. I really, really do.”  
“If you do this, you'll go to federal prison. Your life will be over, and all because you had to rape someone instead of meeting someone normally and having a relationship. What's wrong Mike? Did your Dad hit you? Did he touch you? Do you have to take out your sick sexual fantasies on unwilling victims because nobody wants you?”  
He punched Reid, hard. He was fuming. “Shut up. You're gonna regret that- I’m gonna shove my dick up your ass so far you won't be able to walk for months. And I'm gonna enjoy every second of it.” He ripped off Reid's hospital gown and unbuckled his belt.  
He smiled, pinning Reid down as he struggled and yelled. He grabbed the knife and held it up to Reid’s throat, who immediately stopped struggling. “Stop. Squirming. Or this is gonna be a hell of a lot worse for you.” He laughed and pulled his pants down, and flipped Reid over, who could no longer do anything without risking getting cut.   
“Please don’t do this,” said Reid, trying one more desperate attempt to stop this from happening to him again.  
“No can do, doctor.” And then he thrust into Reid with no preparation whatsoever. Reid cried out and groaned, trying not to scream. Mike soon picked up a brutal pace, slamming into Reid. Reid struggled and bucked his hips, trying to get the body off of him. He screamed, trying to alert someone, but Mike put his hand over his mouth to silence him. He bit down hard on his hand.  
“Damnit! You little shit! I'll fucking teach you you little…” He slammed his fist into Reid's face, who kept flailing, trying to escape the torture.   
“Don't you understand? You are not gonna get away from this. Your purpose is to be fucked. You're dirty- used goods. Nobody will want you. They all pity you. You're a weak, pathetic nothing meant to pleasure me.” He smiled and resumed his thrusting. Reid could still feel the pain, but laid still. He could feel blood dripping down his thighs, but Reid was done. He stopped struggling, and just laid there, feeling every thrust. He tried to think of statistics and equations and facts, things that make him feel comfortable, anything to avoid thinking about the body pressed on top of him, but his mind failed him. He found a spot on the wall and stared until he could see nothing, and could feel nothing. Until there was nothing left.

When he's done, Reid curls up. Mike leaves the room without another word, leaving Reid broken and bleeding. He reaches for the ground, trying to reach the bathroom and tumbles off the side of the bed. He crawls to the corner and curls up, staring at nothing, blood slowly dripping down his thighs. He thinks about calling someone for help, but he sees no point. He doesn't feel anything anymore. All he can think about is the emptiness inside him where something used to be. But he can't remember what it was.

Meanwhile

There were piles and piles of case files on the round table. Evidence, including the note found on JJ, and photos, were tacked to the board. Hotch, Rossi, and Morgan each had a small pile of files already looked at, and were each working on another. Garcia was clacking away on her keyboard, looking through files and cross checking with the little information they had.  
Rossi spoke up. “If the kid was here, we’d already be through with more than half of these.”  
Morgan looks at his watch. 11:30. They'd been at it for almost two hours. He sighed.   
“What about this one- 2004, 6 men found dead in an abandoned warehouse. They found the killer- Jonathan Randall. His son protested at the court house and testified that his father had done nothing wrong, said there was no evidence. They brought Reid onto the stand to testify and it was what nailed Randall. He was sentenced to death and was killed by lethal injection just last year.”  
“Any mentions of a Jamie?” Hotch had peeked up to a possible lead.  
“No…but that doesn't mean there isn't one involved.”  
“Garcia?”  
“On it boss man….” She paused and then spoke again. “Shoot.”  
“What is it Garcia?”  
“Jake Randall, the son. He died two years ago.”  
Morgan sighed again. They were still getting nowhere, and the pile of cases was not getting any smaller.  
“This is pointless. We've got nothing, and we're just as close to finding these unsubs and Jamie as we were when we started.”   
“You need to be patient Morgan. We’ll find them.”  
“Screw being patient Hotch! I don't want these guys thinking- they're safe, and walking free, after what they did to Reid, and JJ. I want their fucking heads on a stick.”  
“I know this is hard Morgan. It is for all of us. It's personal, and believe me, I get it. But there's a line between being close to a case and letting your emotions overtake you. You need to cool down. Getting angry is pointless, and it's not helping us, or Reid.”  
Morgan sighed and put his head in his hands. “I know Hotch, it's just- I'm just sick of being so useless.”  
Hotch’s stern face relaxed a little bit. “I know. Why don't you go visit Reid? Prentiss and JJ will be here tomorrow and we've already got enough hands here. You need to cool off, and we should have someone with Reid at all times too.”  
Morgan didn't even fight it. “Alright. Call me the second you find anything.”

……………………………………….……………………………………….

Morgan was driving to the hospital when his phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and answered.  
“Hey baby girl, what's going on?”  
There was a sniffle on the other side of the line. “Why didn't you tell me?”  
“What do you mean Garcia? Are you okay?”  
“I was looking through Reid’s medical file a-and-” she sobbed. “Three Derek? Did you know that? Please tell me you didn't know and you didn't lie to me and-“  
“Woah slow down. What are you talking about?”  
“The results. Of the- the rape kit. There were- three sets of DNA. You knew didn't you? Why didn't you tell me?”  
“Ah, Garcia.” He sighed. “I didn't want you to know. Neither did Hotch, and I'm sure Reid wouldn't have wanted you, or any of us to know.”  
“But you knew. And you kept information from me. Because you think I'm weaker than the rest of the team- a-and don’t lie to me Derek.”  
“Yeah I knew. And I didn't tell you. But not because you're weak baby girl. Because I didn't want you to have to know like I did. To have to think about it every time you close your eyes. You aren't weak, Garcia. Do you hear me?”  
There was a short pause and some more sniffling on the other end of the line. “Yeah…I hear you.”  
“I love you Penelope. Ok?”  
“Yeah,” she smiled. “I think I do too.”  
“Alright, now keep digging and find me something to nail these bastards to the wall.”  
“Oh I can so do that for you sugar. I will call you back.”  
She hung up, just as Morgan pulled into the hospital parking lot.

....................................…………….......................

“Emily, I'm fine. You don't need to walk me to the door.”  
“That may be true, but you just got shot, and I'm not leaving you on your own. Plus I wanna see Will and Henry.”  
JJ stopped. “Oh my god! I completely forgot!”  
Prentiss gave her a confused look. “What?”  
“Will doesn't even know what happened. He's visiting family with Henry. I was going to go with them, but then everything happened to Reid, and I told him to go without me. I-I need to call him.”  
“Alright, well let’s get into the house first and then you can call him and tell him what happened. In the meantime, I’ll stay here, and before you argue, there is no way in hell that I am leaving you alone here with a healing gunshot wound barely two days old.”  
“Ok- ok fine. Where's my phone? I have to call him- oh shoot is it in my bag-”  
“It's right here JJ,” said Prentiss, holding up the phone. “You need to calm down. There is no rush. Now c’mon go call Will.”

……………………………………….……………………………………….

Garcia gasped, and looked up from her computer. Hotch and Rossi immediately stood up and went to see her screen.   
“What did you find Garcia?”  
“An email. From an anonymous user. Sir I-I opened it and-”  
Hotch looked at the email. “Blood must have blood. Your agent was lucky. She should be dead. But she is watching from above. And she has sent her fury to the receiver of retribution. She will be avenged. And his blood will be taken. You will all feel the pain I felt. And you will all suffer for your wrongdoings.”  
But the note was not the most disturbing part. Attached to the email was an image.  
The image showed a picture of Reid sleeping in the hospital bed, with at time stamp of 10:57. Beneath the image were the words: “Revenge has arrived again.”  
Hotch felt sick. “The photo was taken an hour ago. We're too late.” Garcia was crying. Rossi looked shocked.  
Hotch sat down and put his palm on his forehead, his emotions uncharacteristically evident on his face.  
“Damnit! Why the hell did I leave him alone?” He stood up to leave but Rossi stopped him.   
“Morgan is already on his way, Aaron.”  
Hotch sat back down heavily. “We shouldn't have left him alone Dave.”  
“I know.”  
He put his head in his hands. “How could I let this happen?”

……………………………………….……………………………………….

Morgan walked into the hospital at 11:48 PM and immediately went to the elevator. He pushed the button for the third floor and waited for the elevator doors to ding and open.   
He walked down the hallway to Reid's room and pushed open the door, and was suddenly frozen to the ground..  
Reid was sitting in the corner of the room, his knees touching his chest. Even from the doorway, he could see the blood pooling where he was sitting and the vacant look in his eyes.  
He stood in the door way for another second with his mouth open, unable to form words, before he rushed to Reid’s side.  
“Reid?! Reid answer me! Oh god Reid, I'm so sorry. Pl-please answer me. Talk to me Reid, please,” he choked on a sob. “Reid can you look at me? Why won't you answer me Reid, please.” Reid's eyes remained fixed at at a point on the wall. He could vaguely hear a voice shouting, but it wasn't registering.  
“Reid please.” He had tears streaming down his face. “Please answer me.” He turned around. “Help! I need some help in here! Oh god Reid I'm so sorry!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so, I wasn't lying about the not a pleasant chapter part. Hopefully there weren't as many mistakes, or at least not any stupid ones that completely change the meaning of the sentence. Let me know what you guys think!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey again guys! Hope you all are doing great! Thanks so much for your reviews and favorites- they make my day! Hope you like this next chapter!

He could hear the voices shouting around him, but couldn't make any of the words out. Everything was blurry and muted. But the pain was sharp and clear. He cried out when hands found his body, poking and prodding, and touching him. A voice broke through his muddled thoughts.  
“Reid! Kid! Please answer me! Can you hear me? You're okay kid. You're safe. It's me, it's Morgan.”  
He groaned. “Morgan. It hurts. It hurts so much.”  
Morgan’s heart twisted in his chest. “I know kid. You just gotta stay with me.”  
Reid cried out again when more hands came, and his eyes fluttered shut.  
“No kid don't do that. Hey, keep your eyes on me ok, on me.”  
Reid struggled to open his eyes back up and found himself looking at Morgan’s, full of pain and sorrow. When Reid cried out again Morgan just barely managed to choke back a sob. “I’m so sorry kid. I should've been here, I-I should have protected you.” Tears were streaming down his face now, but he did nothing to stop it.  
Reid gave him a weak smile. He struggled to lift up his arm and then grabbed onto Morgan's arm. “Not your fault.”  
Morgan was about to respond when Reid's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he started seizing.  
“Reid!” He shouted, but the doctors and nurses pulled him away, and whisked Reid away, shouting things that Morgan didn't understand, but knew were not good. He pulled himself off a nurse, struggling to get to Reid, but another doctor blocked his path.  
“There's nothing you can do for him agent. Let us do our job.”  
Morgan knew they were right, but it didn't make it any easier. So he sat down and stared at his hands, which he just then realized we're covered in Reid’s blood.

……………………………………….……………………………………….

Hotch rushed into the hospital, Rossi and Garcia hot on his heels. The first thing he saw was Morgan, slumped down in a chair, staring at his hands.  
“Morgan.” He looked up from his hands, his eyes full of pain and anger.  
“Reid was attacked. They somehow managed to let in a fucking rapist into his room and didn't even know what had happened. I was the one who found him Hotch. There was so much blood, and they-” he choked on a sob. Heels clicked over to him and Garcia sat beside him, pulling him into her arms. “It's my fault. I should've stayed with him, I shouldn't have trusted this goddamn hospital to keep him safe.”  
Garcia shushed him.  
“You can't blame yourself Morgan. This would've happened no matter what. We got a picture and a message, and it was clear that if they hadn't done it now, they would've done it later.”  
Morgan said nothing, just looked back to his hands again. Garcia tilted his chin up so that he was looking at her. “Reid wouldn't want you to blame yourself, sugar. Now c’mon, you need to go wash your hands. And I need to spread my wrath on all the doctors and nurses in this hospital.” She smiled when she managed to get a small smile out of him. They left, leaving Hotch and Rossi alone.   
“Don’t tell me you're blaming yourself too, Aaron.”  
Hotch sighed. “I’m the leader of this team. I should’ve had someone with Reid at all times. I was so blinded by a possible lead in the case that I didn't even think to leave protection with my most vulnerable agent. The blame rests with me.”  
“Oh c’mon Hotch. You just told Morgan they would've gotten to Reid anyway. And you're right. They would've. So get your head out of your ass. You say you're the leader of this team? Then start acting like it.”   
Hotch sighed. “I know, I just- why do bad things keep happening to him Dave? What the hell did he do to deserve this.”  
“Nothing. He didn’t do anything wrong. This is their fault. The men who did this to him.”  
“I should have left someone with him. After this, there'll be 24 hour guard outside Reid's room. And one of us will stay with him at all times.”  
Rossi nodded. “I'll go tell them to put a guard outside of Reid’s room.”   
Hotch looked at the room and sat down on the nearest chair, just as Emily and JJ rushed in.  
“Hotch, I got your voicemail. What happened? Is Reid OK?” Prentiss asked, concern evident in her voice.  
Hotch pressed his lips together and sighed. “Reid was attacked. He was alone, and our unsubs took advantage of it. They must've been watching us and the hospital. He's with doctors now, I don't know what they're doing or how he’s doing.”  
“Oh god,” said JJ, putting her hand over her mouth.   
“I don't know when there'll be any news, so you might want to rest, go home. I'll let you know if I hear anything.  
“No,” said JJ firmly. “I’m not leaving Spence. I’m staying here.”  
“Me too Hotch,” said Emily. “I can't go home and rest, not after this.”  
She half expected Botch to say no, but surprisingly, he just nodded and looked away.  
JJ sat down heavily, struggling to hold back tears. Emily sat down next to her, and grabbed her hand, the only comfort she could give to her friend at that point.  
……………………………………….……………………………………….

“Ok…Yes. Thanks for calling.” Rossi hung up the phone and walked quickly back to the waiting area, where the whole team, minus Reid, was. Hotch looked up.  
“What is it?”  
“The lab just called. They found DNA on the car keys we found in Reid’s apartment. Earl Garrison.”  
“You’re kidding. What took them so long?”  
“Said they were backed up, even though I put a rush on it.”  
Morgan stood up. “It doesn't matter. We just got one of them. We can get all the others if we get this guy to talk. Can you get us an address baby girl?”  
“Already on it, I got my laptop in my bag, honey.” She paused. “Hmm ok, Earl Garrison, 38, works at a department store in Washington….” She paused, fingers quickly tapping on the keyboard, searching for information. “ Oh, woah.”  
“What is it, mama?”  
“He's got a record. Breaking and entering, aaand get ready for this my doves, he was dishonorably discharged from the marines because of not one, not two, but three accusations of sexual assault.”  
“Garcia, an address,” said Hotch impatiently.  
“Right, right, sorry…..34 Fillmore Avenue!  
“Morgan, Rossi, Prentiss, let’s go. JJ and Garcia, let us know the second you hear anything. And send that address to me, Garcia.”  
“Already sent. Go get this SOB, crime fighters.”  
……………………………………….……………………………………….

“FBI!” Morgan kicked in the door, Hotch following in behind him.  
Shouts of “Clear!” rang throughout the house as Morgan slowly went up the stirs, covered by Prentiss. When he made it to the top of the stairs, he could see a man trying to escape through the bathroom window.  
“Hey!” he shouted. “Earl Garrison! Don't move! FBI!”  
The man crawled back into the house, slowly raising his hands up. He turned around, smirking.  
“Hello there. Derek, right? How’s Spencer doing? He talked about you a lot. Well, not really talking, more like…screaming. He screamed a lot. Always, ‘Derek, Derek! Help me!’” He paused watching Morgan’s reaction.  
Morgan growled and roughly grabbed Earl, slamming him into the wall and putting his cuffs on him as tight as he could.  
Earl leaned next to his ear and whispered, “He was so tight, Derek.” Earl didn’t realize his mistake until Morgan’s fist was flying into his face. He smiled, blood seeping from his mouth and staining his teeth. “I see you still have that temper.”   
“Morgan,” Prentiss called, a hint of warning in her voice.  
Morgan turned around, anger flashing in his eyes. Then he looked back at Garrison’s face, a bruise already starting to form. “He resisted arrest,” he growled. Prentiss just nodded.   
“Let’s go, scumbag,” Morgan said, pulling him by his shirt.  
“Is Spencer okay? I would hate to think something…happened to him.”  
“Shut up,” snarled Morgan, pushing him ahead.  
Morgan dragged him down the stairs and out the front door, Hotch and Prentiss on other side of him, and Rossi behind him. Morgan shoved Earl into the awaiting cop car, not even bothering to put his head down. “Go to hell you bastard,” Morgan muttered under his breath. Hotch gave him a disapproving look but said nothing.  
He pulled the cop aside and said, “You're taking him to the Behavioral Analysis Unit in Quantico. This man is part of a federal case- he's in our jurisdiction, got it?”   
The police officer nodded, stepping into the front seat and driving away, Earl smirking at the agents as he left.  
Morgan glared back at him. “I wanna wipe that smirk off that pig’s face. Preferably with a few good punches.”  
“Get in line,” said Rossi.  
Prentiss nodded in agreement. “What a sleaze bag.”  
They filed into the car, Hotch driving. Morgan sat rigid and tense, anger practically coming off him in waves. Prentiss sat next to him, trying to shove all the painful memories that had been created into a box, trying to remain level-headed.   
Hotch looked back at his team members. “When we get back, we’ll get him to talk. I don't care if we have to beat it out of him, we’re gonna get those names.”  
……………………………………….……………………………………….

About halfway into the car ride back, Prentiss’ phone started ringing.  
“This is Agent Prentiss…Yeah, we got him. We’re driving back now….. He did?...Ok, good. See you soon JJ.”  
Morgan looked to her. “Was that about Reid?”  
“Yeah. He’s gonna be alright. They moved him into a new room with 24 hour surveillance. JJ and Garcia are going to his room right now.  
Morgan breathed a sigh of relief, some of his anger and concern leaving his body, deflating like a balloon, and leaned back into his chair.  
Rossi smiled. “Thank God. That kid needs a day of rest without getting injured somehow.”  
Prentiss smirked. “Tell me about it.”  
Hotch spoke up. “We’re all going back to the hospital to see Reid. We’ll leave Garrison alone, make him nervous, stress him out. And we do not leave Reid alone again. Someone needs to stay with him at all times, security or no security. This will not happen again.”  
……………………………………….……………………………………….

JJ looked up as the door to Reid’s room opened. She smiled softly at the group of four that filed in.  
Morgan swallowed, his eyes full of pain as he saw Reid lying unconscious in a hospital bed, yet again.  
“He hasn't woken up yet. He's been sleeping for hours. The doctor says the sedative should wear off, and he should be waking up soon.”  
Morgan pulled up a chair next to Reid, watching over him. Prentiss and Rossi took chairs at sat at the sides of the room, and Hotch sat down in a chair in the corner.  
Morgan took Reid’s pale hand, trying to warm it up and offer him some comfort. He whispered under his breath, “I’m so sorry kid. I should have protected you. I’m not leaving you. I’ll be by your side the whole time.” He closed his eyes and a stray tear trailed down his face.  
Hotch looked over his team. Reid was lying in a hospital bed, looking impossibly small and pale. Morgan’s eyes were glued to Reid, not letting him out of sight. From the outside he looked calm and collected, but as a trained profiler, Hotch could see the pain reflected in his eyes. Prentiss sat against the wall, staring off into space. She was biting her nails, a sign she was stressed and anxious. Rossi sat against the wall next to her, watching over the team, like him, making sure everyone was okay. He made eye contact with Hotch and nodded. He looked over at JJ, who was striking Reid's hair and whispering softly to him. Hotch knew this was hitting her hard, as Reid was her best friend. He could see the sadness etched into her face, but he could also tell she was angry, angry at the group of people who had hurt Reid. Garcia had Reid’s hand clutched in her’s, as if she let go, he would drift away. She had tears openly streaming down her face, and she didn't care. Hotch could tell she'd have freshly baked muffins and balloons in here by tomorrow morning.   
His team was bent, a chink in their armor. But they were already beginning to mend, even with the most recent attack Hotch knew how his team was doing, could profile them easily. They weren't trying hard to hide their emotions- their guards were down, but that was the last thing they were worried about. Reid was the priority- he was all their priorities. When it came to himself though-well, he wasn't sure how he was doing. He felt incredibly guilty. He knew what Rossi said, but the blame lied with him. He'd bore the pain, the guilt, so his team wouldn't have to. Because that was his job. Because they were his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked the new chapter! Please continue to review! Thanks for reading and all those who reviewed!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again guys! Here's the newest chapter! Hope you like it- let me know what you think.
> 
> *Please read the authors note at the end*

 

 ~~~~Earl Garrison sighed. He’d been sitting in this interrogation room for hours, and was starting to get nervous. Were they gonna talk to him? He couldn't tell them anything, right? He’d be dead if he did…but he doesn't want to go to jail. He stopped himself and thought for a second. He smiled. He has the upper hand. They're desperate. He can just play with them until they promise not to put him in jail.

He sat back and smirked. “How’s it going over there agent Hotchner? What about you agent Morgan? You calm now?”

No response came.

“How's the good doctor doing? He ok?” He smirked, hoping to anger the team and get someone in there. He smiled wide when the door opened, knowing his plan worked.

“It’s about time Hotchn-“ His smile disappeared when he saw a blonde haired woman followed by a black haired woman with bangs come into the room.

The black haired woman sighed as if she was bored. “Alright, _Earl_.” She smirked. “Nice name….sooo, let’s see,” she said, flipping though a file. “You like men Earl?”

“Yeah. You got a problem with that?”

She chuckled. “No Earl. You know what we do have a problem with? Rape. Yeahhh. We don't like rapists.” She leaned in closer to Earl. “And you know what? I heard that rapists aren't really liked in prison either. But, I mean… We have your DNA at the crime scene so your’e pretty much screwed. So we can just send you straight to prison right?” She turned to JJ. “Why are we here again? You know, I saw these really nice boots at Zana the other day. I was thinking about buying a pair.. Have you seen their new shoes?”

“Ooh, yes those would look so good on you. You should totally get them. I’ll go with you actually. I need new shoes to match this purse I bought.” She paused, frowning. “Ohh, but then I’ll have to get a babysitter for Henry. Ugh. You know how it is. Always busy.”

Earl cleared his throat. “Excuse me?”

“Oh right. Earl. Uh, so you're going to jail…any questions? No? Alright. Good luck.” JJ got up, as if to leave and Earl shouted at them.

“No! Wait!”

Emily raised her eyebrows. “What?” She said, checking her watch. “I really have to go, so this better be important. And you know, the last thing I wanna do is be spending my time with a rapist. I'm sure your cell mates will have so much more fun with you than I am right now.”

“If I tell you stuff…names…can we cut a deal?”

JJ looked at Emily. “A deal? Ooh, I don't know. I mean we already have you nailed sooo…”

“I'll tell you the other people involved. Full names. For a lesser sentence and a choice in which prison I go to.”

Emily nodded. “Alright Earl. Go ahead. Talk.”

“The most recent attack at the hospital. That was Mike Wallace. He's a janitor, lives in Richmond. So does the other guy with me, on the first attack. Frank Tryniski. And then there's Wayne. Wayne Pearson. He lives in Alexandria. He’s a mechanic. That's all I know.”

JJ winces. “ I'm not so sure about that Earl. What about the woman?” She watches Earls reaction. “Yeaah, we know about her too Earl.”

He stutters, trying to find the right words. “L-look. I don't know her name. She never showed us her face, always wore this- this fucking mask. She was weird; really strange. I swear I don't know her. She told us to do this, and ask no questions. So I didn't ask no questions, ok? She had a gun, a-and we were scared, man.”

Prentiss rolled her eyes. “Ohh, I see, so you were forced to rape Doctor Reid. You were held at gunpoint?”

“N-no, she paid us, b-but still! I swear I don't know her name, or how she looks, I swear!”

“Yeah, ok Earl.” Both women got up from the table.

“W-wait! What about my deal! You said I could have a deal!”

JJ turned around. “You know, the thing about that is…we don't make deals with rapists.” They walked out of the room, Earl screaming, “I’ll fucking kill you! I'll fucking kill the Doctor too! Yeah, I'll fuck him ‘till he's dead! Bitch!”

Ok the other side of the one way mirror, Hotch turns off the sound so he doesn't have to listen. He turns to JJ and Prentiss. “Nice work you two. Call Garcia, get us some addresses. You two will get Wallace, Rossi and I will get Tryniski. Then we'll meet up and get Pearson. Tell her to call the local police to help us out too.”

“You don't think he knows who the woman is?” Prentiss says, gesturing to the interrogation room.

“No. I think he's telling the truth. I think she knew something like this could happen and took precautions to make sure she wouldn't get caught. It’s something to add to the profile.”

“Alright. Morgan staying at the hospital with Reid?”

“Yes. After what happened with Garrison’s arrest, I think it's better for everyone if he stays at the hospital. Reid needs him."

...............................................................................................................

_A while later_

 

Prentiss’ phone rang just as she got back in the SUV.

“Hey, Hotch, we just got Wallace, how’s it going on your end?”

“Tryniski’s on his way to the station. He confessed to us already. We're heading on our way to Pearson.”

“Alright we’ll meet you there.”

JJ looked at her questioningly. “How'd it go?”

“Good, they got Tryniski and an early confession.”

JJ sighed. “It finally feels like we're doing something. Like we're helping Spence.”

“I know. Now let's go catch this son of a bitch.”

 

The four agents stood in front of the house, waiting for the go ahead from SWAT to enter.

“How much longer is this going to take?” Rossi was becoming impatient. So was everyone else.

“Hopefully not long.” As Hotch spoke, a SWAT agent approached them and nodded her head.

“We’re ready to go.”

“Prentiss, Rossi, you go around back. JJ, you’re with me.” As Prentiss and Rossi followed the SWAT agents to the back entrance, Hotch made his way to the front door, followed closely by JJ. A swat agent made his way to the front and kicked the door open, with Hotch following, yelling “FBI!”

They found Pearson sitting calmly in a kitchen chair, wearing nothing but his boxers, eating cereal.

“FBI! Put your hands where we can see them!”

Pearson made no move to follow the demand, almost as if he couldn't hear him.

Hotch narrowed his eyes. “Wayne Pearson. You're under arrest for the rape and assault of a federal agent. Put your hands up now, or we will shoot.”

Pearson began to laugh, a deep, throaty chuckle. Prentiss looked to Hotch confused.

“Did that motherfucking rat confess? That piece of shit Earl. Knew he'd be the first to open that dirty little mouth of his. Did he tell you about the pictures?” His voice got dangerously soft. “Did he tell you about the video?” He laughed again, that raw, almost inhuman sound filling the silent room. “He didn't. Oh, Agent Hotchner. You are going to have so much fun watching those.” He rose slowly from his seat, hands coming up as he did. “Let me know when you do. I'd love to watch him squirm and beg as I enter him. S’almost enough to get me to cum right here and now.” He leaned in close to Hotch and whispered, “He was so tight. Best fuck I've ever had.” Hotch glared at him, roughly grabbing his wrists and cuffing him. He shoved him to a SWAT agent. “Get him out of here,” he said, his voice dangerously low, and his piercing eyes threatening.

A young agent tentatively started to walk up to Hotch with something in his hands, then thought better of it and handed it to Rossi, whispering unintelligibly.

Rossi paused and took a deep breath, closing his eyes for just a second, before handing the box the Hotch.

Hotch looked down, and what he saw made his chest twist and fill with rage.

In the box was a CD and a stack of photos. Only the first photo on top of the stack could be seen, but it was enough to make the whole team furious. In the photo, Reid laid curled up on his bed, naked covered in blood and bruises, and scars. His eyes were wide open and stared straight into the camera.

 

…………………………………………………………………………….……………………………………….…………

 

At the hospital, Reid was sleeping in his hospital bed, and Morgan had fallen asleep in a chair beside Reid, his hand still grasping the kids’.

Unfortunately, he was jolted awake by his phone vibrating in his pocket. He sighed and stood up, taking one last glance at the kid before steeping out of the room.

“This is Agent Morgan.”

“Morgan, it’s Hotch. We just got the three other men who assaulted Reid. We’ve already got an early confession. We-“

He couldn't continue because he was cut off by Morgan. “What?! Hotch, why are you only telling me this now?!”

“Calm down. You couldn't control yourself at Garrison’s arrest, and I'd rather have you be with Reid, who needs you right now, than causing trouble at an arrest where you're not needed.”

“Where I'm not needed? What the hell Hotch! I should have been there. You kept me out of the loop, while everyone else knew what was happening, a-and you expect me to be ok with that?”

“Morgan.”

“No Hotch, I'm not gonna sit here and be ok with that, I-”

“ _Morgan_ ,” Hotch said sternly.

Morgan paused at Hotch’s tone. “What aren't you telling me Hotch?”

Hotch was silent on the other end.

“Hotch, tell me.”

“We…when we arrested Pearson….” He struggled to tell Morgan the news. “There's a video. And pictures. Of Reid’s assault.”

Morgan sucked in a deep breath. “Damn.” He shut his eyes tightly, Hotch’s words like a knife in his heart, twisting and turning. “Damnit!” Morgan hung up abruptly and knocked over a cart, charts and papers flying everywhere. He pushed by a flustered nurse, enraged.

Hotch put his phone away and turned to look at his other team members.

“I’m guessing he didn't take it too well,” said Rossi dryly.

“Let’s go. We need to look through the new evidence. It could help us find the last unsub.”

“What about Reid?” Prentiss spoke up.

“What about him?”

“Who's gonna tell him? About… the video and… the pictures?”

“Morgan will. He’s the best person to do it.”

“He's not going to take it well,” said Rossi, already feeling uneasy about having to watch that video and look at those pictures.

“I know. But he has to know.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...............

 

Morgan sat back down in his chair with a heavy sigh. What he wouldn't give to go back in time, back to a week ago, back when Reid was safe, and unhurt, and back when he didn't have to deal with more bad news everyday.

He knew he'd have to tell Reid what Hotch just told him. It was unfair to him if he didn't, but it didn't stop him from dreading it.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a soft knock on the door.

“Prentiss. What are you doing here?

“I'm on my way back to the office but I thought I'd check in and see how you're doing. I called Penelope and told her the news, so she'll probably be here soon.”

“Oh man. I forgot about Garcia. How'd she take it?”

“She was upset. Unsurprisingly, but I managed to calm her down. Of course she had to come see her ‘boy genius’ so…” She trailed off, looking at Reid. “He's so pale.”

Morgan sighed. “I know. I- I almost don't want him to wake up. He looks so peaceful you know, a-and…” his breath caught in his throat and choked up. “He's gonna hate me.”

“You can't think like that. Derek, he won't hate you. This isn't your fault. He could never hate you. You're like a brother to him.”

“But I failed. I'm supposed to protect him, and…and I left him alone. And now the tapes and the pictures, and…how much more can he take, Prentiss? It's too much.”

Prentiss nodded. “I know. But listen to me when I say this Derek. This was _not_ your fault. And Reid could never hate you.” She pulled him into a hug.

“Alright, I-” She was interrupted by a mass of rainbows and balloons that of course belonged to Garcia.

“Hi. I brought balloons and cards and gifts because you can never have too many you know, and he's in a new room now and we can't leave it all boring and bland like this so….” She held up some colorful bags and balloons. “I brought some stuff.”

Morgan laughed. “Some, baby girl?”

“Ok, so maybe a lot, but you can never have too many gifts, and boy wonder certainly does deserve them and why are you laughing at me chocolate thunder, I don't see any gifts from you. And after Emily told me what they found, I- I needed to do something.”

“I know sweetness. Uh, me and Prentiss, we, well, we were just headed to the office. So you can stay here with Reid, ok?”

Prentiss gave him a questioning look before speaking up. “Yeah, JJ will be here any minute now, so you'll have some more company. She went to grab a coffee downstairs first.”

“You guys aren't staying?”

“We have new evidence to look at Garcia. You have your laptop with you, right? Because we might need your help.”

“Yeah, of course.”

Just then, another soft knock came on the door and JJ walked in. “Hey guys. He’s still asleep huh?” She turned to Morgan and said softly, “I couldn't watch that video. The pictures were bad enough.”

Morgan nodded in understanding. “You let us know if he wakes up.” He gave a slight nod to Prentiss and they walked out.

 

……………………………………….……………………………………….………………………………….................

 

Prentiss, Morgan, Rossi, and Hotch were gathered at the round table, the box lying in the center.

Hotch looked at his team. “Ok. Before we begin, I want you to know, by no means do any of you have to watch this, or look at any of this. It's not going to be easy. It's going to be very painful. This isn't just any victim. It's Reid. So if anyone wants to leave, do it now. You _don’t_ have to be here.”

“None of us are leaving, Hotch.” Morgans face was set and stern.

Hotch pulled out the stack of pictures, and Morgan sucked in a breath when he saw the one on top. "I've already searched through these by hand. There’s nobody else but Reid in any of them. I didn't want to make Garcia look through those, so I decided to get them done with. I hope you all understand that decision."

“Nobody's complaining, Aaron.”

Hotch nodded. “Alright.” He pulled out the disc from the bottom of the box.

“Everyone ready?”

“I don't think we'll ever be ready, Hotch,” Morgan clasped his hands together and sat down, the rest of the team following suit as Hotch slid the disc into a laptop.

The video started playing on the TV. The quality was fuzzy, and they could hear harsh breathing, but the screen was black. They heard somebody fumbling with the camera, before a face came into view.

“That's Pearson.”

On the screen, Pearson began to talk. “The Doctor’s out right now. Had a little to much fun, in the 1st session, and Earl got a little too excited.” The camera switched around, and Prentiss gasped. Reid was unconscious on the bed, blood pooling beneath his thighs, and bruises already forming on his hips. The image made Morgan’s breath catch in his throat.

“Oh, Spencey,” said Pearson. “Time to wake up!”

This time the whole team gasped as a bucket of ice water was dumped on Reid. Hotch winced as Reid jerked awake, blissfully unaware for a split-second, before he realized where he was.

“There he is. You ready for round two Doctor?”

Reid couldn't talk however because of the tape around his mouth. He struggled and moaned around the ropes on his wrists and legs, as Frank stepped toward Reid, the bed creaking as he climbed on. He stroked Reid's face as he rubbed his obvious erection against Reid’s thigh. He was already naked. He flipped Reid over, who started to shout incoherently into the duct-tape. The four agents watched in horror, unable to look away from Reid’s misery as Frank slammed his erection into Reid, with no preparation and no mercy. The muffled screams that came from Reid's mouth haunted them, and they knew they would be in their nightmares for months. Morgan stood up abruptly and left the room, the door slamming shut, the only evidence of his boiling rage.

Morgan stormed down the stairs and to the elevator, only finally breaking down when the doors dinged shut. He slid down in the metal box, tears streaming down his face and fury burning in his eyes. He slammed his fist into the side of the elevator, only regretting it when the elevator shook slightly. He stopped, a brief memory of him and Reid stuck in an elevator flashing before his eyes. He let out a weak laugh, remembering how scared they had been, and wishing he could turn it all around and go back to that moment and forget the sound of Reid's screams. But he couldn't. All he could do was stop feeling sorry for himself, and be there for Reid. So he stood up and wiped his face just as the elevator doors dinged open, jogging past a startled agent and out to his car, only one destination on his mind.

 

……………………………………….……………………………………….……………………………………….……………

 

He walked into the hospital, yet again, heading straight to Reid's room. He took a deep breath and paused before he stepped in, mentally steeling himself, because he had had his moment of weakness, and now needed to be strong for Reid. When he pushed open the door, he was greeted with three pairs of eyes.

Reid gave him a soft smile. “I was wondering where you went.”

Morgan gave JJ and Garcia a look. They both got up. “We’re gonna go grab something to eat ok? We’ll be back soon, Spence,” said JJ brightly, squeezing his hand before they left.

Morgan looked back at Reid. “How're you doing kid?”

“Alright. Considering.”

“Yeah….I wanted to..say I'm sorry Reid. I-”

“Please don't apologize for something you couldn't have possibly known about or had any control over whatsoever,” Reid said, interrupting Morgan’s apology. “I- thank you. For being there for me.”

“But I wasn't. I left you all alone.”

“Morgan- I..you need to let me thank you. Please just accept it. I accept your apology. Now please accept my gratitude.”

Morgan gave him a weak smile. “You're welcome kid.”

Reid looked at him. “You look awful.”

Morgan chuckled. “You're one to talk.”

Reid sighed. “What aren't you telling me Morgan?”

“What do you mean kid, ther-”

“Morgan. You're like an open book right now. I can tell you're hiding something. Just tell me.”

“What happened to not profiling each other, huh?”

Reid just looked at him.

He sighed. “The team…they caught the three men that…they're in custody and they've already got a confession.”

“They? You weren't there?”

“I was here with you.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Reid spoke up again.

“There's something else isn't there?”

“When we got to one of their houses… they found pictures. And… they found a CD.”

Reid sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes. “They taped it?” He paused. “Please tell me you didn't look at the pictures.”

“We had to Reid. We still haven't gotten the 5th unsub, Reid, she could have been in the pictures.”

“And the video?”

Morgan’s silence was the only answer he needed.

“You watched it?” Morgan’s heart broke when he heard not only the anger, but the deep shame in Reid’s voice. “H-how could you do that Morgan?”

Tears began to stream down Morgan’s face. “Reid I- I wanted to find that- that bitch who hurt you, I needed to do something after I failed you so badly, after I couldn’t protect you for the second time…I-” he choked up. “I just needed to do something right. It doesn't matter. I couldn't watch it. I left, and I came here, to see you.”

The betrayal in Reid’s eyes made Morgan's lungs constrict, and his chest crush him. “Who else is watching? Hotch, Prentiss, Rossi? Are they watching right now? I- I can't even understand why you would do something like this. Did you like it Morgan? Did you like what you saw?”

“N-No kid, you know that I would never, ever…. Why would you even say that? We had to Reid. It's the only way we can find her.”

“No. You can find her doing your job. Using a profile.” He let out a deep breath. “I mean, I guess I should just expect this right? I don't even know why I trust anyone anymore. It always gets thrown back in my face.”

“C’mon Reid. Don't say that. We've tried everything. Every damn lead! It's been killing me. It's been killing everyone, knowing that we've failed you. But you can trust _us_. You can trust _me_. I will _always_ have your back kid. You're my little brother. I don't know what I'd do without you. I was so scared, when I found you in the hospital room, all bloody, and you wouldn't say anything, weren't even looking at me. I couldn't breathe. I feel like I haven't breathed this entire ordeal, like my chest is slowly crushing my lungs bit by bit until it suffocates me. Your pain is suffocating me kid. I don't know how you can deal with all this, and how you can ever forgive me for what I've done, but one thing I know for goddamn sure is that you should feel no shame. And that you should trust us to watch that video. Because this team has your back pretty boy. I know, you've been trying to be strong, but you don't have to be. I sure as hell ain't, and neither is anyone else. You can break down. You can let it all out, and it doesn't have to be alone kid, because I am always here. _Please_ tell me you understand. _Please_ tell me you can understand why we had to watch that video, _please_ tell me you'll forgive me for watching it, because it had to be done. It's our best way to nail these bastards to the fucking wall, so that you can go home and sleep safely, so that this whole team can sleep safely. _Please_ , Spencer.”

Reid was silent for several minutes. He bit his lip, and turned to Morgan. Morgan could see his face crumbling, all the walls he had built around himself like a shield, falling down. He began to sob. “I _hate_ this Morgan. I _hate_ feeling like this, and being so scared all the time.”

“I know kid. Come here.” And Morgan pulled Reid into his arms, Reid clutching him like a lifeline, both of them not letting go of each other until they fell asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys, so I'm going to be going on vacation in about a week, and I won't be back until August 22nd. I might be able to update once more next week before I leave, but chances are I won't have time. I'll try. So I won't be updating for around a month, because I won't have any wifi or data or electronics. I gave you guys a chapter that was a little longer than normal, so that was kind of my apology gift for not being able to update. Thank you so much for the reviews, and for sticking with this story, I appreciate it so much. Hope you enjoyed!


	11. Authour's Note

Hi guys!

So sorry, this is not an update! Please read this note though! I just wanted to thank all of you guys so much for following this story, and reviewing and favoriting! As I say every update, I really do appreciate it so much, so thank you guys! If you read my note last week, which I'm sure not everyone did, which is fine, I am going on a trip and I won't have access to any electronics or anything, so I unfortunately won't be able to update. I'll be gone for 3 weeks, but I will definitely have an update the week I get back! Again, thanks so much for all your reviews- I don't know when or how I'm going to wrap this story up, but I'm open to suggestions. It does feel like it's starting to wrap up, but if you guys really want a ton of comfort and healing and stuff, let me know!

Reidsanatomy


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again friends! I am so unbelievably sorry for the long wait. I know I promised you a chapter right after I got back from vacation, but I got caught up in other things and have been suuuper busy. I’ve been struggling with how to continue this story and where to go from here. Thank you for all remaining patient and sticking with this story!

A few hours later

Garcia and JJ walked into the room, quietly clicking the door shut when they saw Morgan shush them. Garcia smiled. “Awww, he’s so precious when he’s sleeping.”  
“Yeah, took him a while to calm down after…” he trailed off.  
JJ winced in sympathy. “How’d he take it?” she said, her eyes full of concern.  
“As expected. He’s upset. But…I think he’ll be alright.”  
JJ nodded. “Prentiss called me. They said they watched the video. They heard her voice, and Rossi swears he recognized it, but no leads yet.”  
Just then a short, pudgy nurse busted into the room holding a chart. She looked surprised to see the three of them.  
“Oh! Hi everyone, you must be friends of Doctor Reid! Well, Doctor Millstone says he’s all good- he’s free to go!” She paused. “Although, one of you should take him home. He shouldn’t be driving.” She gestures toward the wheelchair in the corner of the room. “And he’s gonna need the wheelchair.”  
“I don’t need the wheelchair.”   
They all turned around at the sound of Reid’s voice.  
“Oh yeah, you do,” said the nurse in a bright, cheery voice. “Hospital policy. Sorry!”   
“I’m just gonna come around and start removing this junk.” She walked to Reid’s side and started to disconnect him from all the tubes and machines.   
They sat in an awkward silence until she was done. “All good! Now I just need you to sign this form and then you’re free to go!” Reid quickly signed the form, and she left the room.  
“So that’s it? I can go?”  
Morgan smiled. “Yeah, kid. C’mon I’ll take you home.”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

At Reid’s apartment

“So….can I come in then?”  
“Oh! Right sorry, I’m not feeling too great. Maybe you can come by la-”  
But Morgan cut him off by stepping right in.  
“Or just come right in,” Reid muttered under his breath.  
Reid sat down on the couch and sighed. Morgan had already went off to the kitchen.   
“Kid, you have no food here.”  
“Yeah well I normally just order in. We’re practically never home anyway. The food would just spoil.”  
Morgan walked back into the living room. He noticed Reid’s demeanor. “What’s on your mind, kid.”  
Reid hesitated. “It’s just…. I can’t get over that woman. And Jamie. I have to know it, Morgan. How can I not? I have an eidetic memory, I should remember something about her or whoever she’s talking about.”  
“Reid, it’s not your fault you can’t remember. It might have been a case from a while ago, and this Jamie was one of the victim, and that woman was somehow related to her.”  
Suddenly Reid looked up. “That’s it Morgan- we’ve been looking at Jamie as this poor girl who was a victim of an unsub!”  
“I don’t follow, kid.”  
Reid stood up, his hands moving quickly as they do when he gets excited about something. “What if Jamie wasn’t a victim, but an unsub? What’s more, what if Jamie is not female like we thought, but male?”  
“And either he killed himself, or we had to kill him.”  
“James Heathridge.”  
“Who?”  
“James Heathridge was a serial killer who hallucinated his dead mother, who told him to murder women who he believed to be ‘the devil’s wives.” He fell to his death after trying to kill his sister, Lara. I didn’t even think about it because I was searching for someone named Jamie, not James. I always thought it was strange that Lara understood everything that was going on, and I had a feeling that she might have had a role in the murders.”  
Morgan was texting Garcia information as Reid spoke, and his phone dinged.  
“Reid, he kinda looks like you too. And Lara recently died her hair blonde, Garcia found a picture from and ATM a few days ago.” Morgan calls Garcia.   
“Tell me you got an address Garcia.”  
“You know it sugar. She still lives at Heathridge Manor in Oregon, but I’m guessing she isn’t there right now given that she’s been in Quantico and oh! Her mother’s father owns some land in Quantico, sending you the address now- I’ll tell the rest of the team, they’re all at the office.”  
“Alright babygirl I gotta go, I’m gonna go meet up with the rest of the team.”  
He turns to look at Reid. “Good work kid. I’ll see you after we’ve caught her.”  
Reid nods, unable to say anything. Before he can think of anything, Morgan is out the door and headed to the bureau.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

2 days later

“I just don’t get it. How could she have been so organized, paying off those guys, setting up this whole plan, but then experience psychotic delusions and jump off a building?”  
“And why Reid? I mean, he didn’t kill James. Why target him specifically?”  
“She most likely thought he was the weakest link. And… Reid probably reminded her of James.”  
“It feels so strange. This nightmare is finally over, and Reid is safe, but… I don’t know if I’m ever gonna be able to let him out of my sight again.”  
“I couldn’t agree with you more, JJ,” says Morgan.  
Rossi stands up. “Alright, enough with this depressing talk. We’ve got Reid back, he’s safe in his apartment. The men who did this are in jail where they belong, and Lara Heathridge is dead. Now I don’t know about the rest of you, but I think that’s enough cause to celebrate.”  
“I second that,” says Morgan.  
Hotch smiles uncharacteristically. “So party at Dave’s?”  
Rossi holds up a hand. “No- surprise party at Dave’s. Morgan, you’re gonna get him out of his apartment for some reason, and we’re all gonna be at my mansion. Family is welcome, bring Henry, and Jack, and Will- everyone.”  
“I’m up for some good alcohol and Rossi’s cooking.” Prentiss smiles.  
The whole team nods in agreement. Just then, Garcia walks into to see everyone smiling and laughing.   
“What’s going on? What did I miss?”  
“Come in Garcia, I’ll explain,” says Rossi. “Morgan?”  
“I’m on my way to his apartment- what time should I bring him?”  
“Around seven o’clock. The rest of you are all there by 6:30- if you’re late, you don’t get any wine.”  
“Well then I’ll be there by six,” says Prentiss. JJ laughs.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

2 hours later

“I don’t get why I have to dress nice to go to the grocery store.”  
“Reid I just said put some presentable clothes on, not your sweatpants that you’ve got on now. Plus, you never know, there could be a pretty girl there, kid.”  
Reid groans. “Here we go again.” He walks into the living room in a sweater vest and khakis. “Alright let’s go.”

“Morgan, this is not the way to the grocery store.”  
“We’re going to a different one,” he says, pulling up into a driveway.  
“Really cause last time I checked, Rossi’s house isn’t the grocery store.”  
“It’s not a House. It’s a mansion. Now c’mon, I told Rossi we were gonna stop by and say hello, and grab some nice wine.”  
“Right. You and your alcohol. Wait a minute. This is why you wanted me to dress nice. The whole teams in there, right?”  
“Just act surprised, kid.”  
Reid rolled his eyes.  
Morgan rang the doorbell and was greeted by Rossi, in a suit and apron, the smell of delicious food already among its way out. Reid’s mouth watered when he realized he’d been eating hospital food for days, and had not eaten anything as good as Rossi’s food in a while.  
“Finally! You two are late.”  
“Sorry, Reid kept on complaining about having to put clothes on.”  
“Hey, that’s not true! I was wearing clothes!”  
“Right,” smirked Morgan. They stepped in and were immediately greeted by a chorus of, “surprise!”  
Morgan knew all the arguing and bickering with Reid was worth it when he saw the smile on Reid’s face.  
“Uncle Spencer!” Henry rushed up to Reid with a huge smile and hugged him.  
“Hey Henry! I missed you buddy!” he said, hugging Henry back.  
Next JJ walked up and hugged Reid too. “Hey Spence. I missed you.” A tear slipped down her face.   
“Hey, Jayje, don’t cry, alright? I’m here. I’m ok.”  
JJ gave him a watery smile. “I should be comforting you, not the other way around.”  
The rest of the team came up and hugged him, and sitting around the Rossi’s table, laughing and smiling with his team, Reid felt happier than he had in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, the story is not over yet! Although, we’re reaching the home stretch here, there’s probably only gonna be a few more chapters! Thanks for reviewing, I appreciate it so so so much!


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I know I said last time that I would update quicker but I had midterms and finals and had zero time to update. I’m really sorry but now that my tests are done, I’ll (hopefully) be updating more frequently. I’m going to continue to write about Reid’s recovery, if you have any suggestions or anything you want in the story, please let me know, and tell me what you think!

_He could feel it. Hands all over his body, touching him. He tried to escape, but found himself trapped, rope tied around his wrists and ankles. A low voice murmurs, saying all the things he will do to him, and then laughs at the fear in his eyes. His clothes are coming off now, and the man above him is looking at him while he slowly pulls off each garment, his empty eyes sending shivers down his spine. When he reaches his boxers, he desperately tries to get away, struggling against the invading hands that are holding him down, pushing him down so he can barely breathe let alone fight. He begs him to stop, to leave him alone. His words are all he has left now, but even those are failing him as he feels his boxers being pulled down, and a pressure against him that he doesn’t want to feel. He doesn’t want it, he wants it still stop, for it to please stop. He doesn’t listen though, and he is not ready for the pain, so much pain, and he is screaming for it to stop, fighting against it. But he is too strong, much stronger than him. It lasts forever, the pain only worsening, his screams dying down and his desperate struggles ceasing to exist. He is relieved when it is over, but it is short-lived, because there is another, new weight on top of him and he is screaming again._

Reid cried out as he woke up, sitting up straight in his bed, gasping for air. He rolls out of bed, groaning, before stumbling blindly to the bathroom, where he promptly throws up last nights dinner. He groans again and leans back against the tub, still reeling for his all-to realistic dream. Correction. Nightmare. But the fear and shock slowly ebb away, only to be replaced by anger and disgust. He should be getting better, his life should be improving. Instead he’s having nightmares every night, waking up screaming and drenched in sweat. A part of him knows it’s normal, to be scared, and to be having bad dreams, but another, larger part of him is yelling at himself to get it together and get over it. He should call Morgan, or JJ or anyone on the team, he should be talking to someone, but… he’s trying to find an excuse as to why he hasn’t, but deep down he knows he’s scared of how they’ll react, of what they’ll say. The logical part of him knows they’ll be understanding, kind, supportive, but an irrational voice whispers that they don’t want to hear him, that they don’t care, that they’ll think he’s overreacting. It’s irrational, he knows, but it doesn’t make it go away.

He sighs and gets up to go to the kitchen and make some coffee. As he waits for the machine, he thinks of the vial of dilaudid still in his sock drawer, hiding, tempting him, telling him it’s ok to give up. But he won’t do it, he won’t go back to that, won’t sink back to his lowest moments. But it’s still tempting. The coffee machines beeps, breaking his train of thought. He pours himself a cup of coffee and opens the fridge, trying to figure out what to eat. But, the thought of eating makes him want to throw up again and he closes the fridge shut, telling himself he’ll eat something later.

Later, when he’s sitting on the couch watching a documentary on ocean life, his phone starts ringing from his bag. He digs it out before checking the caller ID. Morgan. He and Garcia had been calling him all day. He sighs, before pressing decline and turning back to the TV. Yet not even a minute later, Morgan is calling him again, and Reid groans in annoyance. He picks his phone up, knowing that he won’t be able to avoid this, and answers the phone.

“Hey kid, it’s Morgan”  
“Yeah, I know. Ever heard of caller ID?” Reid knew that he was being rude, but he didn’t really care at this point.  
“Jeez, sorry to bother you man. Why aren’t you answering my calls? Or Garcia’s for that matter?”  
“I’ve been busy.”  
“Oh yeah, doing what? Watching Star Trek with a cup of coffee in front of you?”  
Reid couldn’t help his smile. “Actually no, I’m watching a documentary on this rare shark that they found in the Indian Ocean, it’s actually quite interesting…”  
He was cut off by Morgan. “Alright kid, that’s cool, just wanted to make sure you were doing okay. I’ll call you later.” He hung up.  
Reid rolled his eyes at how easy it was to get out of a conversation with Morgan. All he had to do was start talking and Morgan was gone. It didn’t seem like Morgan really cared or wanted to talk to him, just wanted to reassure himself that he’s doing “all he can to help his little brother”.

That night, as Reid got ready for bed, he thought about his phone call with Morgan and knew that he would never listen to Reid. Although he knows Morgan is a good friend, who is well-meaning, he just doesn’t think he could talk to him about the problems he’s been having lately. It’s just better to deal with it on his own, without involving anyone else involved and complicating things. He laid down in bed and flicked the lights off. The dark drew him in, trapping him, and threatening to swallow him whole. He tried to close his eyes but it was only worse. _Flashes of hands touching him, hurting him, a voice whispering dirty, disgusting things, unimaginable pain, the sound of screaming_ and he is out of bed and in the bathroom throwing up again for the fifth time that week, the taste of bile on his tongue. He had dry heaved, there had been nothing to throw up, and now his throat was raw and itchy. He realized that he had consumed nothing but coffee the whole day. He sat up and made his way back to his room, flicking the light back in and sitting on his bed. That’s when he started crying, tears pooling up in his eyes and streaming down his face endlessly, silently. It’s too much to handle, he can’t deal deal with the nightmares, and the pain. There’s so much goddamn pain. He can’t eat, he can’t sleep, he can’t breathe, the pain is suffocating him. He knows he’s weak, that he’s letting the pain overcome him, and he’s to stubborn to ask for help, but he knows he won’t make it. He doesn’t have the strength, he’s not strong and brave like Morgan said he was. He feels disgusting, dirty, he can’t get the feel of their hands off of him, he can’t function like this anymore. He stares at the drawer, he knows what’s inside, and it’s so close, a relief from the pain, an easy fix, a solution. It would be so simple, so easy, and he wouldn’t have to feel anymore. He can almost imagine the drug coursing through his veins, numbing him from everything and everyone. No pain. Just pure bliss.  
His tears are no longer silent, he is sobbing now because the vial is already in his hand now and the tourniquet is wrapped around his arm. He is weak, because he needs help and he knows it, yet his phone is in his other hand and he can’t bring himself to pick either option. He thinks back to when he was on dilaudid, after Tobias and Georgia, and how he was so awful to his team. His team, who just wanted to help him and yet he pushed them away. He thinks of how JJ cried in his arms, telling him how she was sorry, how it should’ve been her. He thinks about Hotch hugging him on that dark, terrible night in Georgia in the graveyard, and how Morgan was there waiting for him in the hospital room when he woke up, with a box of cookies that Garcia had gone out and bought for him to eat when he woke up, even though the nurses would have yelled at her. And he knows it was never a choice, that he was building up to this moment and that he would eventually do it. So he picks it up, he has already resigned to do it.

“Spence? It’s two o’clock in the morning, is everything okay?”  
He says nothing; he can say nothing . All that he wants to say has vanished leaving him silent, the sound of his sobs the only thing left to hear.  
“Spence, what’s wrong? You’re scaring me, are you okay?”  
He is desperately scrabbling to find the right words, yet his throat has dried up and for once the man who always has something to say has no words.  
“Spence, honey, it’s JJ…please talk to me.” In the background he can hear someone mumbling something, a question, presumably Will.  
He try’s to clear his throat, licks his lips to combat the dryness. “I-” his voice cracks.  
“I need help. Please. I-” his voice cracks again and his sobs prevent him from continuing.  
“I’m coming over. Please stay there. Don’t do anything Spence, I’ll be right there.”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

He does as he’s told, the phone still pressed up on his ear, the syringe filled with heroin still in his hand, sitting on his bed, the sheets all ruffled and messed up. When she gets to his apartment, JJ uses her spare key that Reid has given her years ago, and finds him like this, his eyes red and puffy and tear tracks on his face.   
“Oh, Spence,” she says before slowly setting the syringe off to the side with the phone and pulling him into her arms, rocking him gently as he sobs. His pain fills her with sadness, the sound of his sobs are agonizing. When he stops crying and pulls away, she looks in his eyes and sees that the are filled with suffering and fear, yet she knows there is still strength there. The strength it took to not take the easy way out, to call her and ask for help instead of shooting up with temporary relief. The strength it takes to survive and get through every day after all that has happened to him. She marvels at his strength; it’s something she does not possess. She takes in his disheveled appearance and how thin he is, and takes him to the bathroom, ordering him to shower as she goes to the kitchen to make him something to eat. When he is out of the shower, and in clean clothes she makes him sit down and eat, and while he does, she picks up all his books and papers and coffee cups lying around on the floor and on tables, attempting to clean it up a bit. When he is done, she tells him to try and get some sleep. He shakes his head.  
“JJ I can’t sleep…” he paused, trying to find the right words. She doesn’t press him, she knows he needs time.  
“Every… Every-time I close my eyes I feel…” he shivers with disgust. “their hands, on me, and I relive everything they did. It hurts to much, JJ, I can’t do it.”  
“It’s ok, Spence. It’s ok to feel like that. I promise you, it will get better. You are _so_ much stronger than you realize, and I wish you could see what I see when I look at you. If- if you don’t, can’t sleep, can I- maybe I can read to you.”  
Reid looks down for a moment, and she’s not sure if he’ll answer, but after a moment he shakes his head yes. She smiles at him and takes his hand, walking together to the living room. He lays down on the couch and hands her a book to read.  
“For a long time, I used to go to bed early. Sometimes, when I had put out my candle, my eyes would close so quickly that I had not even time to say to myself, ‘I’m falling asleep.’” When JJ looks up, she sees Spencer sleeping peacefully, his dreams unplagued by darkness, his breathing deep and even. She smiles and her her heart fills with hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is! Ahhhh, I hope that wasn’t too bad. I know this wasn’t how this story has typically been going but I read the last chapter before this and thought it was really bad:\ I’m not going to delete it, but I’m not really happy with it. Anyways thanks for sticking with me, and please please please let me know what you think!


	14. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I managed to update somewhat quickly! I’m a lot less busy now and have some more time to write. I would have updated earlier, but for some reason it wouldn’t let me upload anything. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, please review and let me know what you think!

The team, minus Reid, was gathered in the conference room. JJ has called them in on an early Saturday morning, and told them nothing; just to meet in the conference room at 7. Understandably, they were not very happy, and were expecting another case.  
“Why can’t serial killers take the weekend off?” Morgan groaned. He had stayed up late last night worried about Reid and his phone call; how he had seemed detached and withdrawn.  
“We don’t have a case, Morgan. I’m sorry that I made you guys come in so early, and on Saturday, but it’s important.” JJ, too, had not gotten any sleep last night, staying up watching over Reid, making sure he was okay. She had slipped out around 4 am, leaving a box of cereal and some milk on the table, leaving him note telling him to eat something.

“What’s important?” Rossi had noticed something off with JJ when she had walked in, and was starting to worry about whatever was going on.  
“It’s Reid. He… Well, I thought he was doing better but… he’s not. He’s not okay and he needs our help, but he won’t- he’s stubborn. We all know that, we know Reid, and I think he’s-”  
“He’s withdrawing himself from us.” Morgan interrupted JJ. “Yesterday I called him around noon, and I tried to talk to him, but he just dismissed me, and hung up. I was shocked he even answered. Most of the time he doesn’t pick his phone up.”  
“Well, yesterday, around midnight, Reid called me. At first he wouldn’t talk to me, and I knew something was wrong because he was crying. All he told me was that he needed help, so I rushed over and… I found him sitting on his bed with… his phone in one hand and..a syringe in the other.”

  
“What?! He was using?!” Morgan got up abruptly. “Damnit! He’s been clean for so long! Hotch, you know, you know he wouldn’t… that’s not fucking possible JJ!”  
“Morgan, calm down. Let JJ continue. This isn’t helping.”  
“How can you tell me to be calm, Hotch, how can you just sit there, relaxed, when-”  
“I am not relaxed, Agent Morgan, and I am also your superior, so sit down and shut up. That’s an order.”  
Morgan seethed, standing up and glaring at Hotch who stared right back, before resignedly sitting down in his chair and putting his head in his hands.  
“He didn’t use Morgan. He had a choice. Between calling one of us or using. And he called me. He didn’t use, he was close, but he didn’t.”  
Rossi stood up. “I’m sorry to interrupt here, but I’m just a little confused. Is everyone here aware that Reid has a drug problem? Because I certainly wasn’t.”  
JJ opens her mouth, but Emily answered for her.  
“Before you were here, Reid was abducted by a serial killer. His name was Tobias Henkel. He tortured Reid, made him choose someone to die, and he drugged him. It wasn’t Reid’s fault, at least at first, but it got out of hand. But he got clean, and he’s been clean for a while now.”  
Rossi didn’t respond, somewhat shaken at this new information he’d just learned about Reid.  
“Ok, now that everyone is on the same page, I’m not done. Reid opened up to me a little bit when I was there. He’s not eating, and he’s not sleeping-”  
“What? Why isn’t he eating? Or sleeping? He knows that’s not good, he needs to eat, should I bake him something? Will that help?” Penelope had stayed silent for most of the meeting, too worried and scared for Reid to talk.”  
“I don’t know if that would help. He doesn’t eat because he says it makes him throw up. And he isn’t sleeping cause he keeps having nightmares. I got him to eat a little, and got him to sleep, but I don’t know if it’ll be enough. I think we need to get him to talk to a professional.”  
“Reid will never do that. He’ll never agree to it.”  
“I know, but we could convince him, or Hotch could order him to-”  
“If I force him to see someone, it won’t help. He knows how to get around questions, he needs to want to do it.”  
“But how do we do that?”  
“We don’t. He will never willingly agree to it, you all know Reid. But we’re profilers, and we’re Reid’s friends. We just want to help him, and I don’t think Reid quite knows that right now. So we need to make sure he does.”  
“But he barely even answers his phone, how are we supposed to get him to open up to us?”  
“He already did to JJ. But we don’t want that happening under the same circumstances as last time. We need to find another way.”

………………………………………………………………………………

Reid woke up that morning without being jolted awake from a nightmare. He was surprised, and not quite used to the feeling of actually having slept well. He got up and noticed JJ was no longer sitting down on the chair next to the couch. He went into the kitchen to see if she was there, but instead found some cereal and a note.

 _Spence-_  
_I left you some cereal and some milk._  
_Please eat something. If not for yourself,_  
_than for me. Sorry I couldn’t stay,_  
_but I’ll be back later today._  
_Love,_  
_JJ_

  
Reid sighed. He should have known she would leave. He shouldn’t have expected her to stay, yet it still hurts a little that she left. He pushed the cereal aside and leaves the room. He walks into his bedroom and sits down before grabbing a book he had been reading off the nightstand. He’s just about to start when his phone starts ringing. He sees it on top of his dresser, next to the dilaudid, and he paused. He shoves the dilaudid in his sock drawer before picking up the phone and answering.

Reid just realizes that he forgot to see who was calling and now is probably going to have to talk to Morgan when a rough voice whispers,  
“Hello, Spencer.” The voice is agonizingly slow, drawing out each syllable.  
Reid freezes. He knows that voice. He starts to panic, thinking a mile a minute. How did he get this number? How was he allowed to call me? Why-  
“Pretty. Boy. Why aren’t you answering me? I’ve missed you. Don’t you miss me too?”  
Reid sucks in a deep breath, fear rooting him to the spot. “D-don’t call me that.”  
“What? Pretty boy? Why not Spencer? Does it…bother you?”  
Reid doesn’t respond. His hand is shaking, the phone threatening to slip out of his hand.  
“I’m gonna get out of here, pretty boy. And I can’t wait. And when I do… we are going to have so much fun together, baby.” The line ends, and Reid is left shaking with fear and dread, still holding the phone to his ear.

  
Someone starts knocking on his door.

  
“Reid? Reid it’s me, Morgan. I just want to talk.”  
The knocking gets louder.  
“Reid? Open up, please?”  
Reid drops the phone, his body moving like it’s under someone’s control, until he is right at the door. He watches his hand reach up to open the door, and suddenly Morgan is standing in front of him. He must not have realizes how terrible he looks, because Morgan’s expression changes from relief to worry in a split second.  
“Reid what’s going on? Are you okay?”  
Reid doesn’t answer, just takes a shaky step back as Morgan enters the room.  
“Pretty boy, talk to me.”  
Reid flinches and closes his eyes tight when he hears Morgan.  
“What? Why are you- Reid what happened?”  
Reid lets out a quiet moan, his eyes still screwed shut, his hand wrapped around his body. Despite his best efforts, tears are leaking out of his eyes. Morgan strides forward and hugs Reid, who struggles, but Morgan doesn’t let go.  
Reid pushes him away and opens his now red and irritated eyes.  
“H-He called. Me. I don’t even know how- how he got my number, b-but he called. How do they let him do that? There should be some sort of regulation in a prison right? I mean how? Why did he… how did he even get my number?”  
“Who called Reid? Who got your number?”  
Reid turns around and walks away.

  
“Reid! Reid, where are you going? Who called you?”  
He follows Reid, who goes to his bedroom and picks something off the floor, searching for something on it, before he hands it to Morgan.  
“It’s recorded on my phone. Press play.”  
Morgan presses play before putting it up to his ear. As he listens, his rage grows, and he wants to throw the phone across the room. He doesn’t want to scare Reid though, so he sets the phone down and clenches his fist.  
“That son of a bitch. I’m gonna kill him, Reid. He’s not going to fucking call you or anyone again.”  
“Y-you can’t do that, Morgan.” His arms are still wrapped protectively around his body.  
Morgan takes a deep breath.  
“I know, I know. We need to call Hotch, tell him what happened.”  
“No! No, Morgan, don’t tell anyone. It’s fine. I’m fine. I don’t want anyone else to hear it.”  
“Reid, this is bad, he shouldn’t be able to call you. What if he calls again, huh? Do you want that? Do you want to have to worry about that?”  
“I- I’ll just get a new phone, it doesn’t matter, I c-”  
“Damnit Reid! You shouldn’t have to change your life around for this bastard!”  
Reid flinches and takes a step back.  
Morgan sighs. “I’m sorry Reid. I shouldn’t have yelled. But please, please let me call Hotch. At least Hotch.”  
Reid lets out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding and gives Morgan a shaky nod.  
“Thank you.”  
Neither of them say anything for a few minutes.  
“Kid, I… I just want to help you. You know what right? I just want to make sure you’re alright, ok?  
Reid pauses, and sits down. “I’m not sure I’ll ever be ok.”  
Morgan sits down next to him. He wants to hug him, and comfort him, but he knows it’s not what Reid wants, or needs.  
“You will. And I’ll always be here for you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awwwww. Poor Reid:(  
> Thanks to everyone who’s been reviewing, you have no idea how much I appreciate it!


	15. Chapter 15

Morgan ended the call and turned to Reid.   
“I just called Hotch. They’re putting him in solitary and getting rid of of his calling privileges. We won’t let him call you again.”  
Reid just nodded, his arms wrapped tightly around his body, in an almost defensive stance, protecting himself.  
“Do you want me to stay? We can watch a movie or something, if you want…” he trailed off.  
Reid cleared his throat. “No it’s fine- I’m fine. You can go.”  
“C’mon Reid. Stop pushing me away. All I wanna do is protect you, you know that.”  
Reid sighed. “I know, it’s just. I’m tired. I’m tired of all this, I just want it to stop.”  
Morgan took a seat next to Reid. “I know it’s hard kid. You just gotta keep moving. You’ll be okay, I know you will.”  
“But what if… what if sometimes I just don’t care. I don’t want to keep doing this, I don’t want to be scared and anxious and waiting for something to happen for the rest of my life.” Reid rubbed at his eyes, swiping away a stray tear on his cheek.  
Morgan turned to Reid, his eyes filled with concern. “Reid…please don’t talk like that. You’re scaring me.”  
Reid looked away, Morgan’s intense gaze making him slightly uncomfortable. He fidgeted on the seat, wringing his hands together while his left leg bounced up and down quickly. Morgan placed a hand on his knee, attempting to steady him, but quickly pulled away when he saw Reid flinch.  
Reid stuttered, “I…I’m sorry. I…I just…”  
“Reid. It’s ok,” Morgan interrupted.  
“No, no it’s not. This is what I mean; I just want to be…” he paused, struggling to find the right words. “Normal. Like before. And I know that’s impossible, but that’s all I can think about, which just makes it worse.”  
“Reid, you are normal. Things might be harder, and you might feel changed, but you are still the same person. You’re still my little brother. You’re still my best friend. You’re still Henry’s godfather, you’re still your Mom’s son, you are still you.”  
Reid pursed his lips. “I know that. But I still feel wrong. Like a part of me is gone, and I know…” he paused choking on his words. Again, he tried unsuccessfully to wipe away the tears streaming more and more rapidly down his face. He took a deep breath. “And I know that it won’t ever come back.”  
Morgan slowly inhaled. There was a long pause before he spoke. “Reid, you will always be the same person I have always known. Nothing will ever change that for me. And I wish that… that I could show you that, that I could make you feel the same way, but I don’t know how to. I just want you to be happy. I miss seeing you smile, seeing you laugh. I miss your rambling and your constant and steady stream of statistics and information that nobody should ever have a need to know. All I want is for you to realize that they didn’t take anything from you. Not if you don’t let them. But yeah, if you keep thinking like that, then you’re letting them win. I don’t expect you to just bounce back and be perfectly fine. I’m not asking you to bottle up all your emotions, or move on and forget. What I am asking, is that you try. That’s it. Just try, just trust in yourself, in me, if not for you then for the team, not your mom, for Henry, for someone, anyone. Can you just… can you do that? Please? Just promise me you won’t give up, even on your worst day, can you promise me that?”  
There was another long pause, and to Morgan it felt like hours, stretching on and on, forever. Reid’s mid however, was running a mile a minute, trying to process all that Morgan had said and find an answer. But he couldn’t think of some elaborate response, or some emotional monologue, so he just turned to face Morgan and said, “Yes,” reaching his arms out and pulling Morgan into a hug.  
Morgan closed his eyes in relief, and held on tight to Reid. He thought that he could hold on to Reid forever, like this, clinging onto him, protecting him, but unfortunately, a knock at the door caused an abrupt end to their hug.  
Morgan stood up, and held his hand out in front of Reid, keeping him on the couch. “Stay. I’ll get it.”  
So Reid sat on the couch, trying to collect himself for whoever was at the door, but found there was no need to when Morgan walked into the living room with Garcia in tow, who was dressed in bright yellow.  
Garcia opened her mouth to speak, but Reid beat her to it.  
“Hi Garcia. It’s good to see you.” He gave her a small smile, and Garcia beamed, practically glowing.  
“Hi my junior g-man! I know I probably should have told you I was coming, but I figured I could just stop by and bring you some cookies, and that way you would have to accept.” She held out at plastic box filled with chocolate chip cookies, slapping Morgan’s hand away when he reached for one. “Sorry sugar. These are for Reid only.”  
“What!” Morgan exclaimed in mock outrage. “He weighs like 20 pounds, he’s not gonna eat all those!”  
Reid rolled his eyes, and Garcia sighed. “Fine. But don’t eat all of them!”  
He smiled taking the box from Garcia and sitting down next to Reid.  
Garcia sat down across from them and smiled. Morgan pretended to shield his eyes, squinting. “Don’t sit there babygirl, you’re blinding me!”  
“What?! I wore yellow, cause it’s happy color, and I want to make everyone happy when I walk in the room.  
“Babygirl all you’re doing his giving me a headache. What are you trying to outcompete the sun?”  
Reid laughed, which caused Garcia and Morgan to freeze for a split second, before laughing with him.   
The laughter didn’t last long, as Reid yawned as rubbed his eyes. “Well thanks for coming guys, I appreciate the cookies Garcia, but I’m really tired so I think I’m gonna head to bed.” He made a move to stand up but was pushed back down by Morgan.  
“Oh no pretty boy. It’s only 7. We’re going to order some Chinese food and watch a movie. And not a documentary! An actual movie, that is entertaining.”  
Reid opened up his mouth to protest, but Morgan shushed him. “I am not taking no for an answer.”  
Reid sighed, and threw up his hands in defeat.   
“Fine! And just for your information, documentary’s are actually very informative and entertaining, as long as you’re watching the right one. And I don’t feel like Chinese food, let’s get Indian instead.”  
“Oh c’mon Reid, you just don’t want Chinese cause you can’t use chopsticks!”  
“Do you want to watch a movie or not? Cause if you do I think you should get Indian food.”  
“Ohh, so you know how to play now? Fine Reid, Indian food it is. Next time though, we’re getting Chinese.”  
“Fine, then next time we’ll watch a documentary.”  
Morgan groaned. “Alright kid, you win.”  
Reid smirked, and Morgan pulled him in, tussling his hair with his hand. Reid jokingly pushed Morgan off him, complaining about his hair.  
Garcia laughed at their antics, happy to see Reid acting a bit more lively and energetic.  
At the end of the night the three were side by side in the couch, Garcia still awake watching the movie while Morgan and Reid slept, the latter leaning on Morgan’s side with Morgan’s arm wrapped around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So… I think that’s it. I know that was kind of short and crappy, but I have had a lot of trouble figuring out how to end this. I hope you guys liked it, and if not, then let me know. Thank-you so much to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and all that stuff! If you have any ideas for any stories you want me to right next, then let me know!


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